Letting Go [EXO FANFIC FOR D.O.] (discontinued)

Chapter 1: The Beginning

"How'd the recording go?" The man asked Baekhyun.

"Chanyeol, you know how it went." I sat across from these two, twirling the plastic spoon in between my fingers. Baekhyun and Chanyeol liked to bicker even if about nothing. I don't pay them much attention, but the sundae in front of me didn't look very appealing suddenly.

Chanyeol is Baekhyun's new manager, a tall, good-looking, funny guy, all business. And the same Baekhyun who helped me escape to the city is now living his dream. His voice will be heard by millions and he'll have just as many fans. He really 'made it big'. And I'm proud of him.

He turned to me. "Kyungsoo, you should join me." Chanyeol nodded.

"Your voice is really amazing too. If you wanted to, you could debut with Baekhyun." I looked at him for a second as he stood up. "I'm afraid I have to take my leave. Here." He handed me a scrap of paper. A number was scrawled on it. A phone number. "If you ever decide to use that talent of yours. See ya." Baekhyun gave him a wave and watched him go. He turned back to me.

"You could."

I shook my head. "It wouldn't work, hyung."

"It's not what you want to do." It's not a question.

I looked away. "No, it's not."

He got up, making the chair legs scrape and screech against the floor. "Sorry Soo-Soo, I gotta run too."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "'Soo-Soo'?" He shrugged with a sheepish grin.

"I'll see you later, alright?"

"Yeah."

I watched him go too.

I twisted the spoon around a few times before throwing away the sweet dessert. Baekhyun and I, we never met in places like bars. Bad memories come from bars and clubs. We met at small restaurants or cafes in hopes of getting something sweet to lighten our moods. He and I are both suckers for sweets. I learned how to make a few so that we wouldn't always have to go out to meet up with people, but he still makes us go anyway.

He works for a big company now, and he's going to debut soon. And like I said, I'm really happy for him too. Proud.

Me?

Well, I'm here. Living, breathing, walking.  He lets me live in the same apartment as him. He pays all the fees. I work a part time job at one of the cafes we visit sometimes, so we get discounts since the boss likes me. I work hard. And until I make it "big" too, Baekhyun doesn't mind that I don't have a "real job".

I wonder, sometimes, why he puts up with having me around.  I don't deserve a best friend like that.

I left the restaurant to head back to the apartment. Baekhyun won't be home for a while; he has more recording to do. He says I have a good voice. And I know it too. But singing isn't what I'm looking for. I don't want a "real job" or a place to live or a celebrity status. I don't want a million friends or fans or a big family.

I'm looking for a reason to keep walking on.

On my way out, I accidentally bumped into this girl holding a huge stack of papers. And with my luck, I managed to knock them all out of her hands. She scrambled for them and I said sorry over and over.

She looked like she just woke up. Her messy hair pulled back in a ponytail. Her t-shirt was worn and a little to big for her. Her sweatpants were baggy and she had on old sneakers. No makeup or anything.

I helped her pick up the papers and I snuck a glance at one of them. It's covered in chords, music notes, and handwritten lyrics.

"Singer?"  I said to her with a smile. Smiles aren't really my thing these days, so it was a little...fake. She looked up at me, emotionless.

She took the papers from my hands and kept her scrutinizing gaze at my expression. "It's not like you really care anyway."

And she walked away.

My first instinct would've been to think that that was really rude. But she was right. I didn't care, I was only trying to be polite.

I shrugged it off and headed home.

The apartment was cold when I walked in. I turned up the heat a little and said hello to nobody. Because, I remembered, Baekhyun's busy at his new job.

I sighed and took off my shoes. I decided to start on making dinner so it'd be ready when he gets back. I reckon I've been a little unmanageable lately, so I might as well pay him back with at least this much. It's not like I can do much else.

------------------------------------------------------

He comes home late, at around 10PM. I heared the key click in the lock and the front door creak open.

"Kyungsoo?" He said, his voice sounding hollow from the hallway.

"Here." I replied, shutting off the tv. An old movie was playing, not that I was actually watching it. "Hungry?"

I heared him chuckle and then he walked into the room. "Yeah." He had this silly grin on his face even though I knew he was exhausted from having to sing the same lines over and over to get that perfect note. I got up and led him to the kitchen. I'd left the food in the oven in a measly attempt to have it stay warm. He took the plate from me and microwaved it, then sat down and nodded at me to sit across from him.

"Watcha been up to, Soo-Soo?"

"Don't call me that." I lightly hit him on the arm and grinned.

"Hey! There it is! I haven't seen that in a while."

"What?"

He grinned at me. "A real smile."

I punched him again. "Shut up."

He took a bite. "Nothing." I said in reply to his earlier question. "How's work?"

He groaned. "Tiring. Chanyeol's a pain. He keeps making me redo parts in the middle of rehearsals and I barely get sleep. I have to wake up early tomorrow too."

Baekhyun had rejected the offer of moving into the trainee dorms. He's a talent that the company practically begged for, so they let him stay here with me. I'm thankful, like usual, but sometimes I wonder about it.

He finished the food quickly, probably starving from having rehearsed all day. I took the plate from him to clean it.

"Thanks." He said with a yawn and an apologetic smile.

I nodded. "It's what friends are for. When you're soon-to-be idol friend is too tired to clean plates at 11 at night."

He laughed and I shoo-ed him off to bed. "You sound like a mom!" He said as he closed his bedroom door. I laughed at that and I heard him laugh too. He's probably one of the few people that still manages to get me to laugh, since I've known him for most my life, and, well, he knows me like the back of his hand.

But then I heard a noise and I looked over my shoulder. He walked out of his room a minute later with a bundle of clothes and disappeared into the bathroom. I heard the shower turn on and I sighed. He always somehow seems to find a way to stay awake just a little longer. Though I can't say I'm any different. But I'm not the one that desperately needs sleep.

I headed to my own room too, too tired to scold him. At least he was doing something reasonable. Closing the door behind me, I sunk down onto the floor with my head in my hands and my knees propped up. Every day is a long day and today was no different. I can't get them out of my mind yet, so I sat there for a minute, feeling haunted.

Ever so slowly, I got up and walked to the bed to lie down. Sleep came quicker than I expected, and so did the dreams. It seems, even as I sleep, I can never really escape.