Unknown Fate

7

I cannot express the happiness that Im feeling right now.
My heart beats faster than usual,and I can't think of anything else than love.
I feel so refreshed.

I'm inside my sister's room,rethinking about every single happening that occured earlier.

--

Being a good and an honest bestfriend (haha) eto ako,kinakalikot yung account ni Venus.
Hindi kasi ako pumasok, I dunno. Maybe because of the exhaustion from everything that happened yesterday. A lucky,bad Monday.

Katatapos ko lang kumain ng lunch. So eto nga,scrolling on her news feed.

*Venus nasan ka?
Oy!
Ganyan ah!
Nasan ka?
Shot tayo
Badtrip ako

Si Edward. Hindi naman niya alam na ako to eh, kaya nireplyan ko nalang.

*Baket?Anyare?

*Basta!
San ka?

*Baket nga muna?

*Basta nga!

Nag missed call na siya. Pero hindi ko sinagot due to slow internet connection tyaka ayoko malaman niya na ako yung kachat niya.

Minutes after,nagchat uli siya.

Siguro may problema to, I told myself.

Kaya instead of pretending na wala namang nangyayari kasi hindi niya naman sinasabi yung problema niya
I just told him the truth
*Si Plinky to.

Akala ko magagalit siya,pero tumawa lang siya.

*Hahah!
Nasan ka?

*Dito sa bahay.
Anong nangyare? Anong problema?

*basta.
Halika dito sa bahay.

Then all of a sudden,andun na ko sa bahay nila.
I dunno what made me do so.

Mag-isa lang siya sa bahay nila. Tahimik. Nakaupo lang.

Upon entering their house,walang nagsalita. There was a deafening silence. Sobrang awkward namin.

*Naglunch ka na ba?
I asked.

*oo. Ikaw?

*Oo.Katatapos lang.

And then followed by short conversations. Questions,answers,and laughter.

--

It was already 7pm when we left the store kung san lagi kaming nagtatambay with friends to chill and everything.
We consumed 2 beers. Nagkwentuhan lang nman kami.
After few minutes of extended laughter,we decided to go home.
Ihahatid niya raw ako.

The sky is already filled with lots of stars. No moon,but stars. Lots of them. And it was a magical night for me.
Walking on the road while they were serving as the lights.

He was holding my hand.

"Yung chat ko sayo regarding the shooting star. Oo nakakita na ako. Apat. Yung dalawa,magkasunod sila."
I told him.

"Oh?Ang swerte mo naman."
He seemed shocked and amazed at the same time.

"Naaalala mo nung magkasama tayo na nakakita ako ng shooting star?Alam mo kung ano yung winish ko?"

"Hindi eh.Ano ba yung winish mo?"

"Winish ko,na sana... maging tayo na"
I didnt know what to say,or how to respond.I kept silent.

"Ikaw,ano yung winish mo nung nakakita ka ng madaming shooting stars?"

I thought of anything na pwedeng sabihin.
Alangan naman kasing sabihin ko na Winish ko din yung winish niya.
No.

"Ayoko.Basta,secret na yun."

"Ano nga kasi?"
Kinukulit na niya ako a sabihin ko na.

"Ganito. Kapag nakakita ako ng isang shooting star ngayon,sasabihin ko kung ano."

"Osige. Maghintay tayo."

Naupo kami sa isang pwesto,tumingala at nagsimulang maghintay.

Damn,I dont want this day to end.
Ayoko na matapos to kasi alam ko na bukas,paggising namin,pagpasok namin sa school. Hindi na ganito,hindi niya na ko papansinin. Hindi na niya ako kakausapin.

Kaya nga I thank Venus a lot,kasi kung hindi ko pa nabuksan yung account niya,hindi pa to mangyayare.

A lot of shooting stars had already passed. Sinasabi na rin niya na may nakita na siya.
Pero ayoko parin,I kept on extending the number,from one,naging tatlo para masabi ko kung ano yung hiniling ko.

He was shaking,and I was just there,holding hands with him and trying to decrease the coldness by rubbing my free hand to his skin. Kasi nga naka sweater nman ako,siya naka tshirt lang.

Shooting star
Shooting star
And more shooting stars.

May times na pareho naming nakita yung dumaan. Dalawa ata yun eh.
And everytime we see one,he kept asking me to tell him the wish I wished that night when I first saw Four.

Pero I didnt want to tell him,kasi If I did,uwian na.
Kaya kung san san na napunta yung conversation

"Kung gusto mo na maging tayo,kung yun yung winish mo,bakit hindi mo ako pinapansin sa school?pag magkikita tayo,hindi mo'ko kakausapin."
I could feel my emotions rising up that time pero I cant cry,I know,and I shouldnt.

"Kasi nahihiya ako sayo.Ewan ko,basta."

"Pero kapag magkasama tayo na hindi sa school,hindi ka na nahihiya?Atyaka bakit kay Trisha mo pa sinabi na hindi ka pa ready sa isang relationship?Magkaklase lang naman tayo sa TLE?"

"Dun kasi yung time ng issue namin ni papa. Na parang nawala lahat.Nawalan ako ng gana sa lahat."

I didnt know what to say anymore. I didnt want to ruin the moment.

--
Minutes after,we decided to really go home.

"Ano na yung winish mo?"

"Ayun. Na sana maging maayos na lahat.Sa buhay ko.Sana maging okay na din tayo."
Ayoko nito,Ayoko ng ganito Edward.

We were holding each other's hand the whole damn time.

Andito na kami sa taas ng bahay, stairs away from my home.
"Sige,bye na?"
"Bye,Goodnight"

And before we left the place,I was taken aback by his actions.
He pulled me into a tight,long hug.
Shit. I love it.
Gusto ko ganito lang kami. Smooth conversation,laughter,smiles and would definitely end into a Hug.
"Goodnight na. Ingat ka ha?"

"Ikaw din."

And there,we went separate ways heading home.

I love you.Big time.

--

I dont understand why Im feeling like this.
Konting galaw niya lang,I feel like forgetting everything. The pain that he caused me and the pain that he is causing me every single day!
Sa isang maling move,sa isang sweet move,nawawala lahat. And the anger keeps on vanishing.
Ayoko nito,he keeps on giving me mixed signals.
Ang hirap.

I know it's hard for me to assume na totoo lahat. Na totoo yung pinapakita niya sakin. Na totoong gusto niyang maging kami. Na totoong mahal niya pa ako.
Ang hirap. Na lagi nalang doubt yung nangingibabaw.
Kasi alam mo, na a day after,lahat ng yun parang hindi nangyari.

Pero sana, sana magbago na lahat.
Hindi naman masamang umasa paminsan minsan di'ba? Hindi naman masama na kahit minsan, isipin ko rin at maniwala rin ako,na sa mga shooting stars na yun, mag-grant ng kaisa isa kong hiling. Na maging klaro na ang lahat samin.