Shit I Wrote

the Tristan star

At the time I was in a rehab facility my thoughts were kinda scattered not that they aren't anymore lol. Back to the purpose of this... Um i was the youngest person there I formed friendships.
Arthur: he was kinda a big brother to me very protective for a while. He was mostly like that because I cut, and I guess he didn't like cutters. Whenever I talked about my ex he covered his ears because he said he hated what she did to me. Then after a while.. The big brother figure dissipated and he stopped caring. One of my biggest fears are abandonment.. Then again who's isn't? A lot of the friendships I formed ended like me and Arthur's. After I got out I stopped opening up.. Could you blame me? But when I was in the facility we were all laying down outside looking up at the non existent stars. Most the time I was in there I thought about a lot of broken relationships that were just forming. My fault... Another one of my problems.. Self sabotage. A guy I liked people thought he liked me.. We were really good friends at the time.. I told him. But I told him I didn't want to be friends anymore because of it...stupid right? I rejected him.. Subconsciously of course, and at the same time he rejected me.. That day I cried.. A lot then I met Kelly on watt pad. I fell to her for comfort, she said she liked me.. I lost someone, and then gained someone. I latched on.. I put my heart and soul into our "relationship" but I had unresolved feelings for Tristan. Kelly ditched me... It hurt like a stab in the lung.. I latched onto my most recent ex. We all know how that ended.. I have a bad habit of latching on to someone, when I can barely handle myself let alone another person. Back to the non existent stars. There was a cluster that caught my eye. I named it the Tristan star...i stopped looking for it.. I feel like.. I don't deserve to dream or hope..