LoVe after Nikaah

unexpected !!

"Oh my!! Is that really ?" asked my bhabi (sis in law) looking into my eyes.
I was just stunned to even respond. She asked me again, "Tam, did u hear me ? You are getting married in just one month."

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(My name, Tamannah Shaikh.. happy-go-lucky kinda. My parents are my world. I have one brother named Suhail and his wife named Asmaara. I lost my one more elder brother before 3 years. It took a lot to overcome the loss. Hence Allah is the creator and we all are his slave)

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I was shaken by her words and hence couldnot respond either. I quickly grabbed my phone and locked myself alone in a dark room. I began to sob thinking about the sudden changes my life has taken. Iam just 18 and i thought my parents could never agree for any marriage alliance until iam 23. But now iam left with no hope as today, 25th April 2015, i got engaged to a boy named Sameer whose family has rich background and is quite known to my family too.
He is a true gentleman. He already have created a good image in my heart and i truely respect him. I have heard only good things about him describing his simplicity. With all his admiration, i realise that he would have get better and deserving soulmate.
When i talked about this to my friends about my insecurity, they said we make a wonderful couple.
Yes! May be that we make a good couple but what hurts me is that I CANNOT FORGET MY PAST that easily. And my consent for the marriage is only for my Dad because i cannot deny his words. He is more than anything else in this whole universe. He want me to get settled with a practicing muslim guy. Yes he is right in his place but what bothers me is that i will be getting married in just a month plus i couldnot be able to get graduated. I still have one more exam to finish my first year of degree and here iam in the pool of fear, insecurity, and ofcourse the fear that whether i could get fit in his requirements or i can come upto his expectations towards his newly married wife. And i dont have any right to spoil his life as well as mine. So i will have to move on because life must go on.

Allah has reasons for everything but at this current situation, i cannot just digest the pain. I trust him and his plans. I heartily know that He will heal me for sure.
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Today 29th April, i do have the very last exam of my life. My friends were literally shocked listening to my commitment. They were like, "are you serious ? We never thought you to be committing first". I could just nod to their statement and hence proceeded with, "no its my will. My parents have decided so it must be nothing but good for me". They demanded for a treat and we went to an ice cream parlour for a blast that may be my last hang out with them :(
I will miss going to college with friends and all those golden moments that is cherished with them.
After the treat, we were back in our bus and there i got a call from mumma asking about my well being. After disconnection, there were multiple texts in whatsapp and what caught my attention was the reply for my text from the one and only, my future husband. It is said by my family that he will not have a connection with me through phone until marriage as he doesnot like such stuff. Ma Sha Allah, i have never seen such man in my whole life who refused to be in contact with his own would be because of the fear he had towards our Creator. Iam sure he will make a loving spouse. And Alhamdulillah for having him in my life.
Yet i had to clear some of my doubts so i texted him hoping for a positive reply last night saying,,
Me: Assalamu Alaikum :)
Sameer: walaikumassalam. May i know who is this ?

(I was kinda scared. What if he gets angry that i texted him. Making a further attempt, i replied)

Me: your fiancee :)
(Though his last seen was yesterday's, i waited for a reply but it gave me a single tick indicating that he is out of my reach at the moment)