not sure anymore

what the fuck

hey there. 

i'm not positive as to what the hell i am attempting to do with whatever story takes place here. if you couldn't tell all ready, i have this tendency to start things and never finish them. see, i have this aspiration to make something of myself...original right? who doesn't want to have purpose in life though, really? isn't that what is continuously pushing us to the edge? the notion that if we have a purpose then life is worthwhile, this is a concept that seems to exist in every single person. the desire to mean something to someone is what is craved by everyone, from what i understand. 

now what am i doing? well let's see, i am a teenager who feels out of place and alone, typical to say the least. i'm not sure what i want to do with my life or how i want to spend it. you could say that i have a lifetime to figure that shit out, but honestly who the hell actually figures it out in the end? we all work towards that end goal, the happiness we desire, the light at the end of the ever so enduring tunnel of life's obstacles that are thrown at us; however... the question i have is; do we actually get to the happy ending? some might say they have, but i feel it is safe to assume there are a hell lot more people who would say the contrary. 

i can tell you that in this very moment i am thinking to myself, what is my point here? i have no clue what my end goal is from writing all of this bullshit...but if you are deciding to actually give me a chance, props to you; there are only a few people who actually do take time to listen to me...by a few i mean like less than three people, no lie.