running [h.s]

eleven

   I stand next to you now. I am strong. I am alive. And I am okay.

Nobody can tell me that I'm not trying. I swam through 12 oceans and drowned in every single one of them. But each time the water seeped into my lungs and the fish started swimming in my bloodstream, I spat it all up and continued swimming. I am not a life raft. I will not pop in the middle of the ocean. I am a fucking ship. And I promise you I will make it to shore alive.

Ever since you left, I started sleeping with the lights on. Not because I'm afraid of the dark, but because it reminded me of how you lighted everything up.

But I don't sleep with the light on anymore, Harry. I realized that the only light I need is my own. I learned to never depend on someone else's light, because you never know when they'll go out.

Now here I am, months after you left. I am at peace. At peace with myself, and at peace with you. And damn, it feels so good.

Sometimes I will still be upset. Sometimes I will still be angry. But baby, you were blue, and I was red. And sometimes, purple just isn't for everyone.

So now, I stand by your grave. You were the best thing that's ever been mine. I can now say goodbye, Harry. Goodbye to the blue boy with sad green eyes. Goodbye to boy who was once the blood running through my veins.

"Goodbye."