Stranger

Slipping from sanity

Waking up I could already feel today was going to be bad. I always feel like this but I have a weird feeling its gonna be worse than most. Getting out of my warm bed, I go to my tiny dresser and find some clothes. I pick out my best jeans, an old sweater two sizes too big, black socks, and matching bra and panties.

Once I have everything I need, I tip-toe to the bathroom so I don't wake up my dad. He loves his sleep and I woke him up once. Didn't turn out good and I had to stay home for two days. It's not like anyone cared anyways. I don't want it to happen again because I'm the one taking the beating.

I can't afford to miss school. I'm already dropping in my grades and I need to have all A's so I can get a scholarship. I tried saving money but my father took it and said I don't need it and I'll never get into college. That only makes me want to prove him and everyone else wrong.

People just put me down on everything I do. I'm starting to believe I'm worthless but this little part of me is telling me to keep going. To prove to everyone I'm better then they label me as. Life will get better and I'll make sure of that and no ones going to stop me. I'll be 18 soon and out of this hell hole in no time.

I plan on going to Cali to study. I live in Sequim, Washington at the moment and I wanna get out of here as soon as possible. Half the school year is over and I'm counting the days.

Brushing my hair and teeth, I get ready for a shower. I have an hour before school starts. After getting undressed, and taking my bandages off, I take a 10 minute shower because my dad gets mad if I take too long.

I get dressed after I'm dried off and brush my hair. Looking at the clock I rush downstairs. My dad would be up soon and I have make him breakfast. I get out the pans, milk, eggs, ham, and cheese. When I was younger my mother taught me how to make bomb omelets.

I go to one of the cabinets and get out oil for the pan. I put the oil in the pan and turner the burner to 4. When you have it too hot it won't work right. Getting a bowl, I mix the eggs, milk, and ham. I put the mixture in the pan and wait for it to be flipped. Once I flip it, I get a plate to put it on. Setting the plate on the counter, I turn the burner off, put cheese on it, and flip it in half. Putting it on the plate, I put everything back in the fridge and get the orange juice out.

I set the cup next to his food and look at the time. "Damn!", I whisper to myself. I need to hurry if I want to get to school on time. Rushing, I throw the pan in the sink and grab my bag that's by the door and put my shoes on. Dads going to be mad I didn't clean but I can't be late! I guess I'll just take the lecture I'm getting later.

Closing the door behind me, I go the normal route to school. I'm dreading this. I love school and learning but the students are too much. I rather take online classes but my Grandma said you don't learn as accurate as you would in school. I agree but I'm to my breaking point with these kids. They don't understand how much they make my life a living hell. No one will understand.

While I was walking, a car drove by. "Dumb slut!" Must be kids from school. Looking at the ground thinking about how everyday I get bullied. You know that feeling where you can feel your soul crying, telling you to give up. You can feel it breaking. Breaking from the sane mind it has. That little part is breaking away and I'm soon to go insane.

When that happens, I'm not sure what will go down. I have always kept to myself but when I no longer give a fuck, people will see my true colors. I'll be sure to give them a piece of my mind. I have so many emotions building up, I don't know what to do.

I'm tired of crying. It just makes me feel weak and I start falling into their trap. I am not a weak person!

I do not let people see my emotions. If they do see anything, its rage. Rage from them fucking with me and putting me down. Rage from them slowly breaking me. Breaking this once strong happy girl. Breaking an innocent soul. Breaking me, changing me, and judging me to be the person I'm not.