If you smile, I smile
If you laugh, I laugh
If you cry, I cry
If your hurt, I'm hurt
If you jump off a cliff...I'm gonna miss you buddy!
Why do you miss someone? Because your so use to having them around
Stick that in your juice box and suck it!
Dear math,
I am your therapist, go solve your own problems.
Study - The act of texting, eating, and watching tv with an open textbook near by
Things To Do:
1: Get up
2: Survive
3: Go back to bed
I hate it when people I know see me at the super market and are like "Hey, what are you doing here?" And I'm just like "Oh, you know just hunting elephants."
LSHMSFOAIDMT - Laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco
I'm awkward. I laugh a lot. I trust people I shouldn't. I'm quiet at times. I smile a lot. I get left out. I like to be able to be myself. I try to look pretty but give up a lot. I've been hurt. I don't like my appearance at times. I'm not perfect. But I'm gonna be me and see where life takes me.
That awkward moment when you read something and realize "Wow! I did that yesterday!"
That awkward moment when everybody is talking about there skills and talents and your just like: I can breathe
Yelling someone's name in different voices until they hear you.
When someone says "Expect the unexpected" slap them in the face and say "Did you expect that?"
The only thing worse then having a spider in your room is loosing a spider in your room.
I love everybody! Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and some I'd love to punch in the face!
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murder will come in thinking "I'm gonna ki-aw damn! She's under the blanket!"
Every girl dreams is to have a guy call her at 3am just to say "Hey, I just wanted to say I love you."
....
Wake me up at 3am....I'll kill you!
Me: Mom look!
Mom: Oh, that's nice sweetie.
Me: Oh that's cool how you saw without even looking -_-
I could be a morning person, if the morning happened around noon
When people ask dumb questions, I feel the urge to give sarcastic answers.
Wake up in the middle of the night to pee: Avoid all mirrors
Airplane engine makes a sudden noise: I lived a good life
Hear thumps while in the shower: Your whole family is being killed and your next
Turns off all the lights before going to bed: OMG run for the bed before the demons get you
Elevator door doesn't immediately open: Trapped forever
Realized its to quiet,where is everyone: Oh god, zombies
Zombies eat brains, don't worry your safe ;D
Best friends: Share the good times with you as well as the bad times with you, sticked around while everybody else walked out on you, ignores the worst and brings out the best in you
I love you is 6 letters but so is bullshit
When I loose a game: Ehh what the heck, it's just a game anyways
When I win the game: Oh yeah! You all suck! XD
Friend: Dude you were so drunk last night
Me: No I wasn't
Friend: You were cutting a pineapple open saying "Spongebob, I know your in there!"
Mom: Kids are starving in Africa and you won't even finish your food?!
Me: And making me fat is gonna help?
Mom: Eat your carrots
Me: But I don't like carrots
Mom: But carrots like you
Me: Well of course! It's because I don't eat them!
Me: Dude, I wasn't that drunk
Friend: You congratulated a potato for getting the part in Toy Story
Boy: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Girl: Awe thanks, so what did you get me?
Boy: You see that Mercedes over there?
Girl: OMG YES!
Boy: I got you a toothbrush that exact same color
Boy: Hey
Girl: Hi
Boy: Do you like anyone?
Girl: Yeah
Boy: Who?!
Girl: Some guy that acts like I don't exist when were in public
Boy: Ha! What a loser, tell me who it is and ill beat him up for you
Girl: Ok. Go ahead. Beat yourself up :)
Friend: Hey
Me: Hey
Friend: Did you eat?
Me: Did you eat?
Friend: Are you copying me?
Me: Are you copying me?
Friend: I love you
Me: Yeah I ate
A promise means everything, but once it's broken sorry means nothing
No matter how serious life gets, you still gotta have that one friend you could be completely stupid with
Best Idea Ever! : You go into a crowded elevator and say: Your all probably wondering why I gathered you all here today. With a straight face
Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson?
Me: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
Me: I had a dream about you
Friend: Awe really?
Me: Yeah, you died
YOU ARE READING
Epic Quotes
RandomBored and looking for a laugh? Well read this book of quotes! It should keep you entertained for a bit. :)
