Epic Quotes

Epic Quotes (Part 4)

That awkward moment when you notice someone's zipper is down but you don't know how to tell them without explaining why you were looking that low

At a pet store:

Me: Hey there's nemo

Worker: Uhh ma'am, that's actually a clown fish

Me: Bitch, it's nemo!

Oh cool it's bendable *SNAP* Shit!

*Slowly puts it back and walks away*

Me? Stalker? Hell no! I just observe... behind a tree... at night... when it rains

You don't like me? Awe how cute, you thought I cared

I can't loose you, because if I ever did I would have lost my best friend, my smile, my laugh, my everything

Yeah I'm weird! Wonderful. Exciting. Interesting. Real. Different.

Know when to let go or hold on tight

I never let my best friends do stupid things...alone

Treat me like a queen and ill treat you like a king. Treat me like a game and ill show you how it's played

I act like I don't care but deep down, it kills me

I'm not heartless I just learned how to use my heart less

No matter how long it takes, it will get better

They say friendships never last, let's prove them wrong

Trust is like a paper, once it's crumbled it can't be perfect

I am who I am. I'm weird, I'm lame, I run into things, I spill food, I trip, I scream about random and stupid stuff. But I like it that way.

If you fall, I'll be there

We often never appreciate the true value of a moment, until it has become a memory

It's hard to trust someone. Especially when the ones you trust the most, were the ones that betrayed you

Thinking of one person and remembering all those memories and then realizing that they may never happen again

Did you know that if you put your ear up to a strangers leg you can hear them say: What the fuck are you doing?

Me, weird? Bitch please, I'm limited edition

Life is short. Break the rules. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably. And never forget anything that makes you smile

Friend: Awe, does someone need a hug?

Me: Don't touch me -_-

A smile can get you far but a smile AND a gun can get you a hell of a lot farther x)

British Accent: Justin Biebah

American: Justin Biebur

Australian: Jastin Beybah

You just tried all those accents,

didn't you?

Mom: What did you want for dinner?

Me: I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want

Mom: So tell me what you want, what you really really want

Me: LOL pizzas okay thanks

That annoying moment when a package says easy open and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a light saber to get it open...

If I ever say things can not get any worse do not take that as a challenge!

I am a fruit loop in a world of Cheerios

No matter how much I try to be nice, someone always manages to find my instant bitch button

Some people just need a high five...

In the face...

With a chair

Cool story bro, in which chapter do you shut up?

Friend: :)

Me: Are you really texting me at 2am?

Friend: Are you really replying at 2am?

Me: Well played

You never realize what you have till its gone... for example: toilet paper

Thank stupid people, without them you would have no one to laugh at

Don't ever look back. Don't ever look back, or the zombies will get you!

We are best friends. Always remember I will pick you up, after I finish laughing

I was under the impression that bullshit came from bulls but as soon as I heard you run your mouth, I realized I was mistaken

I may look calm but in my head, I've already killed you three times

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain

Every moment wasted looking back keeps us from moving forward

Every new beginning comes from another beginnings end

Well I'm off to club bed featuring DJ pillow and Mc Blankly

Why does Monday have to be so far from Friday and Friday be so near to Monday?

Dear millionaires,

If you don't have a bookshelf that spins into another room, give me your money because your spending it wrong

I never knew heck was a mixture of hell and fuck put together

You never actually know when your actions are right or wrong, you just make the decision and hope for the best

Sometimes people do wrong things for right reasons

Every girl is beautiful, it just takes the right guy to see it

I don't mind being average, that simply means I am as close to the bottom as I am to the top

I'm on a seafood diet, every time I see food I eat it

I can keep a secret, it's the people I tell it to that can't keep there mouth shut

I'm not suffering from a bad attitude I'm enjoying every minute of it

I'll take your advise, as long as it doesn't interfere with what I'm planning to do

Walking with a friend in the dark is better then walking alone in the light

That one friend that always gets the joke two hours later