Lists | Phan

One: The First Step

Phil made sure to start every morning with a list.

It was July, so that meant two months until Freshmen's Week at college started. He had chosen one of the furthest schools from Rawtenstall; University of York.

Phil rolled out of bed and ran a hand through his hair, picking out the tangles. He looked outside and saw blue skies. Sweet.

Stumbling over to the desk, (legs aren't awake yet, damn it) he flopped down into his ridiculously uncomfortable chair and opened up his notebook. Flicking through the first couple of pages, he landed on a blank one and-

"7th of July"

Under the date Phil made 10 bullet points.

The first section was things to do today for physical improvement.

Number one was 'Go for a two mile morning run.' Just like every morning since he made the decision to change himself. Coupling that with the sit-ups and push-ups he'd been doing, his body was filling out pretty nicely. Plus, running under the sun for all that time had changed his skin from pasty sickly white to a healthy looking gold. If I'm gonna do this, I need to look the part.

Phil quickly jotted down his other physical goals for the day:

2) Sit-ups

3) Push-ups

4) Squats (Gotta work the butt)

Oh Christ, thought Phil. Since pretty much forever, I've been wearing the same t-shirt and jeans... If I want to look the part, I've got to dress it too. I mean, having no friends or family, where am I supposed to get fashion advice from?

So that made the next point:

5) Clothing research.

It's decided, when I'm done exercising, I'm going to look on the internet at the styles at the moment and then go shopping. I've been saving my money for long enough, I can afford to splash out on some clothes, I guess.

The last five bullet points were social goals.

Phil never knew the first thing about social interaction; it just never came easily to him. Whereas other people seemed to just coast through life, Phil had to put a ridiculous amount of thought and effort into everything.

But I can't let that happen again, He thought, I need to own it.

I need to own everyone.

Making friends, keeping friends – such a complex art that Phil never understood. He'd never understood people; why they do all the weird things they do. Why can't everyone just say what they mean? There are all these bullshit unspoken rules and norms that appeared to come so naturally to everyone around him, but never to him.

So I study. Determination washed over him. So I make a conscious effort to abide by these laws, so everyone will like me. So they'll never leave me.

So the Social Interaction Study Goals went a bit like this:

1)   Conversation starting. Thank god for the internet and all those people out there who write articles on this shit.

2)   Listen to all the music in the Top 40 Charts. You bond with people easier if you share the same music taste. You can become instant best friends with someone you've just met through mutual love of a specific band.

3)   Watch a few episodes of popular ongoing Tv Dramas. Same reason as above, plus Breaking Bad is damn interesting.

4)   Do some background reading on some of the topics that'll come up in classes. Not too much, I don't want to sound like a smartass – but it'll come in handy, right?