If You Don't (Ryden)

~6~

~Ryan's POV~

"I just want to go home." I said softly.

"You have a broken arm!"

"And I'll fucking manage, now let me go home."

I turned away from Jack and Alex, looking out the window instead. I didn't want to be here... I didn't want anything without Brendon...

"When's his funeral?" I choked on the word. He was only twenty years old. His name should be nowhere near the word.

There was quiet before Alex answered. "Few days. His mom wanted it done and over with..."

"How long ago was the accident?.."

"Three days." Jack said quietly.

I turned to them. Three days?? Not only had I lost someone else in my life, but three days as well?? I felt nauseous.

"Can I please go home, now?.." I asked nearly silent.

"I'll talk to the doctor..." Alex sighed, turning from the room. Jack followed after him and I was left alone.

"It should of been me..." I whispered to myself. I wiped the tears that threatened to spill with my uncasted hand.

I just felt so alone. Some of my closest friends were dead and now Brendon... My whole world was gone...

"I should of pushed for him to get back in his seat..." My voice caught as I spoke silently to myself. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to hold more tears back.

"There was nothing you could of done..."

My eyes snapped open at the soft voice that filled my ears. It was like a chorus of bells. I looked around, but I was alone in the room as well as the immediate hall. What was that?..

I felt a strange tingling in my arm hidden under the cast. It felt light as air, as if absolutely nothing was wrong with it...

"Rest now..."

My eyes suddenly grew heavy. My arm was regaining its weight, but not its pain. My head fell limply to my side, facing the window. Through my closing eyes, I saw a bright light outside of the room in the outline of something familiar?..

I couldn't be sure before my eyes gently shut, sending me into a peaceful rest.

~Brendon's POV~

"Do we even know what this kid looks like?" Pete asked, looking up at the sky as he walked casually behind Spencer and I.

"Strange the mission didn't give you a picture..." Spencer commented, "Maybe it's someone you know?"

"I don't remember anyone by the name of Ross?" I said in more of a questioning tone. The name felt familiar.. But my past was fuzzy in my brain.

"Really? You can remember our deaths but you can't remember some human?" Pete laughed, spinning on his heels and looking up at the sky.

"Like you're the best at the game of memory." Another voice interrupted us. I turned and saw Patrick. His arms were crossed and he was looking right at Pete while a small flame raced around his feet. "You told me, you were checking on the new flames." He said, stepping closer to Pete.

"I did." Pete said, bringing his eyes down from the sky. "But then I saw Spence and the reaper-"

"I have a name!" I shouted, irritated.

"-at the portal... In need of a bit of reassurance." Pete shrugged as Patrick was right in front of him.

"Death turned you into a hot head." Patrick said, shaking his head.

Pete just giggled, leaning forward to press his nose against Patrick's. "Why? What was I before?.."

I noted Patrick's slightly stiffened pose after Pete's question. I could almost feel the fire once again. I shut my eyes tightly as my mind relived it... The trying to run... The getting trapped... Waking up in the tainted air...

"Wait a minute." My eyes opened. I looked back at Patrick, who was biting his lip while looking straight into Pete's eyes. I turned instead to Spencer, who was air drumming to my side. "Is there anyway for me to see someone else's death? Just to view it."

Spencer looked bewildered by my question. "I-umm... I think so?" He answered questioningly, "I've heard of it... But you need that demon or whoever in question."

I turned back to Pete and Patrick, who were still locked in the same position as before. "I need to see Pete's death."

"No." Patrick answered immediately, spinning away from Pete to face me.

Pete gave him a confused expression. "It was my death." He said simply.

"But I caused it." Patrick argued.

"You may have caused it, but I never blamed you." Pete replied softly.

Patrick looked at Pete with pain behind his eyes. "It could bring back... Other things in your forgotten memories..."

Pete stepped over to Patrick and leaned in against his neck. "Just let me help the kid." He said silently to Patrick. Patrick was hesitant, but finally nodded. Pete pulled away and looked at me. "So, what do we do?" He questioned.

Patrick sighed and held out his hand. The flame dancing around his feet froze. It moved out in front of him, just under his hand. "I'll need Brendon and Pete to place their hands on top of mine." He said quietly.

"What am I supposed to do?" Spencer asked, walking over slowly as Pete and I stacked our hands on top of Patrick's.

"Make sure no one falls." Patrick said, flashing his eyes to a solid black. Pete followed his lead. I took a small breath before blinking my eyes into their new, demonic form. Patrick nodded and whistled. The small flame underneath our hands suddenly shot up into a flame almost as tall as me. It engulfed our hands, but it didn't burn. Maybe it was my new rock-like skin...

"Now focus on the night." Patrick's voice was different than before. It was deeper and darker in a way... "Focus and watch the flame..."

I let my mind continue to replay the fire. The smoke, the air, everything. I just stared into the fire, like the others. I could suddenly see a picture forming in the flame. I saw the old church, engulfed in flame. To the side, I could see four figures escaping through a window. They hurried from the building before stopping a few feet away. One was being held in a boy with half blond, half dark hair while the couple had one laying on the ground with the other pumping his chest.

"You're not leaving me that easily, bitch." The boy pumping the other boy's chest said. I looked at the boy on the ground and recognized him.

It was me.

This boy was trying to save me... He looked so familiar... Who could he-

Ryan.

The name hit me like a ton of bricks. Ryan Ross? The name from my mission? I suddenly got a burst of thoughts with the name. Laying on the floor next to him, smiling. Getting down on one knee, proposing. Sitting on his lap, fixing his... Before getting hit.

I remembered clearly how I died now.