Chances

Chapter Five:

Chapter Five:

“It’s getting late, Seth,” I said, looking up at the stars that had since risen. We hadn’t talked much. We just sat in complete silence, listening to the sounds of the river. Seth nodded. It broke my heart seeing how much he suffered in silence and what he was willing to do to end it. “I’ll walk you home.” I stood up and extended my hand out to his. He stared at my hand, deeply for a moment before taking it. My stomach flipped at contact with his hand. I wondered if his did too.

“Sebastian, does your dad still…?” Seth trailed off.

“Yeah,” I nodded.

“Don’t you have someone to stop him? Your mom?” I drew in a sharp intake of breath.

“Umm…she died about five years ago. The beatings didn’t start until after.”

“Shit. I’m sorry, Sebastian,” Seth mumbled.

“Nah, you’re good,” I said, brushing it off. I didn’t like talking about her death or my father.

“I feel like such an ass now,” Seth said, clearly embarrassed. “Do you…want to talk about any of it?”

“Not really,” I said, matching his awkwardness. I changed the conversation to save us both.

“Do you want to hang out tomorrow? We can go for a run or something?” I offered. I saw a flash of excitement, but it was too dark to tell for certain.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Seth said. I could hear a smile in his voice and it made my heart jump.

“Good. I’ll come over after school,” I said, We were at Seth’s house. It was small like mine and had two vehicles in front: a minivan and a truck. Seth’s eyes glued to the window with a light shining through it.

“Shit,” he muttered.

“Is everything alright?”

“Umm..yeah. It’s just that my parents are home and they are going to be pissed that I’m out late,” he explained. They should just be happy that he is alive, I thought. “I’ll be okay though.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he reassured me. “I’ll see you tomorrow and…thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” I said. I went into hug him without thinking. At first, Seth tensed, but then he loosened up and wrapped his arms around me. My heart started pumping faster and my hands grew sweaty like they did the first night we met. Reluctantly, I pulled away. Seth looked torn and confused. My instincts told me to kiss him, but if he was that torn over a simple hug, I didn’t want to know what a kiss would do to him.

“See you tomorrow,” I whispered.

“Bye, Sebastian,” Seth smiled, sending chills down my back. I watched Seth walk up and into his house. I refused to let myself think about anything besides the weather until I got safely into my room. Quickly, I checked in with Carla, dodged her questions, and ducked into the safety of my room. I flopped onto my bed. My hands were shaking. I still had that gut wrenching fear that I felt when I saw Seth on the bridge. I wanted it to go away and never come back. I never wanted to see that look of hopelessness on his face again. I never wanted to hear him say he was better off dead again. His words circled in my head over and over again. The same words I had thought to myself not that long ago. I hoped he would be able to get past this, that one day he would finally accept himself with or without his parents’ support. I told him I would help him, but I had no idea what I was going to do or where to even begin. I just knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to be with him, but I was stuck in this stupid house. I would see him tomorrow and for now I was going to have to be content with that. I tolled over, falling asleep to visions of Seth.