2p!Hetalia x Vampire!Child!Reader

Foooooooood

~After 2 hours of being tortured by the fabulous Flavio and the runaway rainbow called Oliver~

"C'mon kid, we're gonna go hunting," Matt said while walking into the room I have to call mine.
"You're gonna let me come hunting with you?" I asked in my childish voice I could muster while laying facefirst on the floor.
"Uh, yeah. We could look for your friend too, eh?" OH YEAH, I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT MY STARVINGNESSess bleh.
"Yeah, hopefully we can find him!" I chirped while jumping up...OH GOSH IT IS CONTAGIOUS!
"C'mon then, Oliver has some cleaning to do anyway," nuuuu they're going to get rid of (F/N)'s remains...fack
"CAN I GO TO THE BATHROOM??" Wow, I didn't know I could be that loud O.O
"I don't know, can you?" Oh, Matt, I got enough of that talk with the 2 teachers that I had.. I was thinking with a blank look on my face though.
"There's a bathroom upstairs on the third floor you can use, while your bathroom is getting fixed," Matt said while walking out. OH YEAH, FOOOOOOOD!
I started walking out when, "Oh poppet! You have to try on your new dresses!" Oliver, you motherfucker.
"B-but Matt's taking me hunting and I would never want to get my new dresses dirty," I sputtered out.
"Well, you better hurry up than; Matt's about to walk out the door!" Oliver...Y U DO DIS??
"Yeah, I better go catch up with him!" INTERNALLY DEAD.

_~

"I thought you had to go to the bathroom?" Matt asked with an eyebrow raised.
"I thought so, too," I mumbled under my breath.
"Well c'mon, we have to leave now if we want to be back before dark," he said while walking out the door. OH THANKS, MATT, JUST LEAVE THE CHILD YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING.
I jumped in Matt's pickup truck, and sat on my knees,
"What the fuck are doing?" Well, if you can't seeeeeeeee,
"Uhm, I'm sitting down," I said with a hint of sass; like, you know, enough where it sounds cool, but not too much where they'd be able to detect it.
"Whatever," he "REPLIED" while starting the truck and pulling away from the house. I CAN'T HEAR YOU IF YOU MUMBLE, BITCH. Oh wait, yeah I can, hehe.

_~_

After Matt parked the truck in the middle of the fucking woods, he turned towards me,
"Okay, you stay in here for now and I'll come back for you in a little bit," WAIT, YOU'RE LEAVING ME?! FINE, BITCH, BE THAT WAY!
"Count to 200," Matt ordered. Dude, I'm supposed to be 7, I'm supposed to be stupid.
"I don't know how to..." I said while looking useless.
"What the fuck, kid, how far can you count?" Hehehehe, I'm gonna do it...
"69," I JUST HAD TO!
"That's...uh, just stay here till I get back," OH MY GOSH HE LOOKS SO DISTURBED! HAHA
He jumped out and got a polar bear from the box...WAIT HOLY FUCK. WAS IT THERE THE WHOLE TIME? Oh shit, it's staring at me. MAKE IT STAHP.

_~_~

IT'S BEEN MORE THAN 400 SECONDS YOU ASS.
I jumped out of the pickup and walked in the direction of where Matt went. Wait...IS THAT HUMAN I SMELL? ONWARD THAT WAY! I started running in the opposite direction of Matt until I was grabbed by someone,
"Ooh, little girly, where do you think you're going?" The human said.
"I was actually just going to follow the scent trail your kind left behind, mister, so if you can excuse me," I childishly said while squirming in his grip a bit. He seemed somewhat confused but held on nonetheless,
"You're not going anywhere, now what do you mean my "kind"?" he asked while tightening his grip.
"I fucking meant unicorns. What the hell do you think, dumbass?" I said sarcastically.
"Don't back talk me, bitch," he said while pulling out a handgun and putting it to the back of my head. PLEASE, BITCH, I'VE BEEN THROUGH WAY WORSE!
"And what the hell do you think you're doing, dipshit," I stated in a demonic voice, "I can kill you before you can even twitch your finger!" I continued.
"Try me, girly, what are you fi-" I cut him off by spinning around and slicing his neck. I bent down close to his dying face,
"I'M SEVEN, BITCH!" I screeched before stomping on his face. YEEESSSH, FOOOOOOOOOD.

(I don't really know if this is long or short, but meh. Here it is! Yaaaay.)