"You're not good enough for me" you say
as your eyes skim over my worn-down face.
What can I do to make you stay?
I'll do anything - just promise you won't walk away.
You don't like black?
I'll change my hair.
Don't like my legs?
I'll get a new pair.
I'll change my mind, my body, my face.
I'll take ballet so I can walk with grace.
You say I talk too much, but I don't call enough.
You say in my suitcase, there's just too much stuff.
I never tell you about my problems, and whenever I do,
I'm making you uncomfortable, you say, "I have problems too!"
Just tell me what you want,
I promise I can change.
I'll make myself a new person,
I'm not too fond of this one anyway.
I'll read what you read, do what you do, wear what you wear,
and when you insult me, I'll pretend like I don't care.
I'll hide my tears as you tear me apart,
piece by piece and break my heart.
I'll look away as you choose the parts you'd like to stay,
and which ones you can throw away.
Like roses in a garden, you cut off my stem.
All the beauty without the thorns to accompany them.
You look at me with a smile as big as the sun,
and say, "See how beautiful you've become!"
And in that instance, I have to smile,
just to appease your mind for a while.
You walk me back home as you praise your ability
to make me a better person, with so much humility.
I bid you goodnight and walk through my door,
knowing that tomorrow, I'll be alone once more.
So I remove my new hair, my new legs, my new face,
and I toss them away, into my closet space,
where I put all the improvements that people have made on me.
I find that without them, it's easier to breathe.
And when I look in the mirror,
although there's no one else to see,
I know who I am,
and that's enough for me.
