Confess Again (GirlxGirl) - A lesbian love story

Chapter Two

Taking a bite out of her sandwich, Jamie slumped back onto the bed, resting her legs over the lean frame next to her. Chewing happily, she held the sandwich out for Fabian to bite into.

"Happy now?" He mumbled around bread and filling, laying back to rest his head on one arm. Jamie took a moment to run her fingers over the bare chest in front of her, stopping at his hips where the sheet prevented her from venturing further. She swallowed as he raised a brow in curiosity.

"You know, I don't think I am, I might need another round." She smirked, dropping the half eaten sandwich onto the desk across the room and settling into a straddle over Fabian's hips. She ghosted her fingers up his taut abdomen, following the lines of his abs and feeling his skin jump beneath her touch.

"Is that right?" He grinned as she pressed her bare chest to his and connected their lips in a lazy kiss. He pulled her bottom lip between his teeth and got a sigh in response. He pulled back, looking into her stormy eyes. "So," he started with a teasing tone, "are you going to tell me what's wrong now? I know that expression." She huffed in annoyance, drawing back to sit upright once more.

"That's not part of our deal, Fabian." She sighed, reaching for her t-shirt at the end of her bed and tugging it on forcefully. She'd expected him to bring this up; he usually did when he knew something was wrong, but she'd hoped that she'd been convincing enough to throw him off. Silly really, they'd known each other for nearly three years now and he was the closest thing she had to a best friend. He could read her like a book; maybe that's why she'd asked him over. She felt large hands wrap around her wrists and watched Fabian pull them down to her lap.

"I'm not asking as part of our deal. I'm asking as your friend. There's a reason you asked for me and there's a reason you wanted me treat you the way I just did." He gave her meaningful look. "Besides, your eyes give it all away JJ." He offered a sympathetic smile and Jamie winced, feeling frustration build in her chest. She tensed for a moment, trying to resist the urge to shout out at her own weakness. When the feeling passed she sighed, sounding tired, and pushed off of Fabian's chest to retrieve her underwear. Once her modesty was somewhat restored she moved back to the bed, sitting across from him and throwing his boxers towards him. He pulled them on, sitting up and reaching for Jamie's discarded sandwich to finish.

"Dana's here, at the university. Something to do with her dissertation." She offered eventually. Fabian just nodded as if he'd expected it.

"Some of the guys were talking about a hot new redhead on campus, guess that explains it. I take it you spoke to her?" Jamie nodded in response. "And?" He prompted.

"She wants to meet for coffee. She wants to catch up." Rubbing at her forehead, Jamie let her mind wonder to the last time they'd had coffee. It'd been a date, they'd stopped for drinks on the way to the cinema to watch some stupid romance film that Jamie had wanted to see. She scoffed at the thought. She'd been such a romantic at the time, all soft kisses and quiet giggles. How she'd changed over time. They'd been stared at in the coffee shop when Dana had leaned in to steal a kiss before grinning up at her. She felt her heart flutter at the memory, thankful for Fabian interrupting it with stern words.

"Go. Meet her for coffee. Catch up. You miss her." It wasn't a question. He'd been watching her carefully as her attention drifted off, noticed the tiny smile gracing her lips and the shocked expression that replaced it – something he'd seen many times. She turned that expression on him now, before schooling her features into one of disinterest.

"I don't miss her. She cheated on me. I'm over her." Her eyes flashed with hurt but her face remained controlled as she stared at her friend. "Besides, I'm quite satisfied with our arrangement, I don't need her." Her lips twisted into a smirk as she looked him up and down.

"Sure, princess. If you keep telling yourself that, maybe you'll start to believe it." He looked at her pointedly and her expression dropped into a frown. She smacked his leg in annoyance and muttered an insult as he reached for her phone.

"What are you doing?" She reached to take it back as he tapped away.

"You didn't even text her back? Harsh." As realisation dawned on her she started to scramble up the bed to reach her phone. Fabian held it up and out of her reach while he finished typing before throwing it back to her. She quickly read the message and cursed.

"Great, thanks for that buddy. Now I have no choice but to meet her." All she received in response was a grin.

***

She'd known from the start that it would be a terrible idea, and to begin with, she was right. As Dana smiled and chatted Jamie couldn't help but remember how many times that smile had been directed at her, just for her. As the pink lips before her shaped her name she remembered times when they'd made the same shape, only in a different situation. Then she'd be reminded of Sarina and that kiss that had been the final nail in the coffin of their relationship and the hurt would flare up all over again, aching in her chest and churning her stomach. The worst part was that she hadn't been able to keep it from her face, and Dana had noticed her become pale, had asked if she was alright like she actually cared. But Jamie was over it, so that shouldn't matter. It couldn't matter.

After the initial uneasiness had passed it had been... fun. Like it was back when they were 16 and becoming closer again. Like Jamie had her best friend back, at least for a while. Without either of them really realising it, hours passed as they chatted about anything and everything: their friends from school, their families, their courses. Within a few hours the two and a half year gap between them had started to close and it almost felt normal by the time they separated with a friendly wave. Almost.

It wasn't until later that evening when Jamie's phone buzzed with a text that doubt and regret started creeping up on her.

I had fun this afternoon, J. I've missed this.

If she were honest with herself, she had missed it too. Not Dana the Ex, but Dana the best friend from years ago when they were just kids. The girl she'd played with and had sleepovers with, staying up until all hours talking about what their futures might be like, how their husbands would look. Jamie chuckled at that part, the idea of Dana marrying a man seeming funny after everything that'd happened since then, or the idea of herself marrying at all. It'd been a long time since they'd had so little to worry about.

It wasn't that though, that caused the fluttering in her stomach. No, that was hope that something more would come of this, that maybe they would be able to go back to before and be friends again and Jamie would recover someone who was once the most important person in her life. Such a pesky thing was hope, because it meant that Jamie still cared, and it meant that she could be hurt.

***

Dana knew it was a risk, calling her J like when they'd been closer. She knew it was a risk to say she'd missed it. In the end she'd sent the message anyway. It was nice to have her oldest friend back, at least in some small way. She'd meant to explain the situation with Sarina but it had never come up. She'd been too distracted by the way Jamie had looked at her, genuinely interested in what she'd missed since they'd been apart. She'd been distracted by the realisation that yes, this could work and she hadn't wanted to ruin the comfortable understanding they'd reached by bringing up something so negative. They'd both tip-toed around anything relating to their past relationship which would have been fine with Dana if Jamie hadn't been so obviously uncomfortable and hurt at the start. It had been clear to see, she was still hurting over what had happened, or rather what hadn't happened, and it needed to be set right.