ever since we started talking, I've felt five years younger. I'm back in middle school, running around and whispering to my friends about the text he sent me last night. I'm trying to catch his eye in class, and when i do, i pretend i'm looking at the clock behind him. Sometimes he'll even smile or nod at me, and i'm so busy worrying about how hot my cheeks are getting that i forget to smile back. It's childhood feelings. It's the spring in your step, smile at the ground, oh god can tell kind of feelings. As we pack up our bags at the end of class, i try to time it so we get to door at the same time. He opens the door, keeps it open with your hand, looks back at me, and goes onto his next class- it's silly butterfly feelings. It's thinking "he loves me, he loves me not" at every flower, checking horoscopes, and listening to ukulele love songs. i've been attracted to people many times before, each feeling growing more mature as i age. I've felt the longing for skin, the fascination with collarbones, the heat of another person's lips pressed on mine, but he reminds me of daffodils. Of valentine candy hearts and interlocking hands and nervous laughter. My feelings for him are pure, and giddy, and young- and i don't think i ever want to grow up.
