For Our Martyrs

They Glowed And Were Embraced

'It's December 13th. Just four more days to go...'
'It's December 13th. Just seven more days to go...'
'It's December 13th. Just five more days to go...'

No. Not four more days to go, or seven more days to go or five more days to go. 3 more days to go. Something had been odd lately, all my friends were counting days. My family was watching the calendar over and over again, but they were doing that because my birthday was coming. Yet again, it was odd. Every year, I celebrated my birthday without noticing anyone checking the dates or putting up a countdown. It was as though something big was in waiting. Of course, everyone, including me was unaware of what it was, but something inside of me kicked and nudged me to beware. To be open eyed, to be attentive. I was an ordinary student of 7th grade; the grade when everyone's growing up, growing moustaches, entering their ugly phases, gaining weight, noticing variations in how they sound, I was a normal 7th grader. And in the series of so many odd events, my divulgence was a part of it too. I couldn't surmise why I had been feeling this way. For a twelve year old to feel a sense of vision foreseeing is not common- as far as I had known, so I decided to talk to my grandfather about it. I talked to him when he was busy meditating. My grandfather never bothered to mind if he's meditating and someone comes up to him to ask things. He was cool about it, so I went and sat next to him and told him what I've been feeling.
'Dada, something is odd. I am more than in love with Ammi and Abbu in the past few days, i don't feel angry on Ali(my younger brother), instead I feel like I love him too. I mean, Ali. Dada I hate his guts, he's always annoying me. But in these past few days I feel like if I don't stop being irritated by him, I'd simply lose him and cry that I never got to spend quality time with him. And our driver khan baba? I've been so nice to him, he thinks I'm bewitched. And I don't know, I should be happy that I'm in love with my family and the people who care about me, I should be happy that I have the most amazing friends but I am sad. I'm sad about all these blessings. I'm discontented, I feel hollow. Like there's a hole inside that's growing and growing as the time is passing and one day this hole will expand to its limit and I'll vanish. I have a strong feeling that I wouldn't get hurt in the process, I mean I'm not scared, but I don't want this. I want to be scared. Dada, I've been feeling so strong, extremely strong, as if I could lift the heaviest rock, or push a car single handedly, or flip an entire building. Am I possessed? And if I am, can you tell me if these Jinns are good guys or bad guys?'

My dada was crying and I was sure that I had hurt him. The only thing I never wanted to do was to hurt him. And I had hurt him. My dada cried his eyes out for good fifteen minutes and I just sat there caressing his hair and running his back gently. I didn't know what to do. If I had called my mother, she would've asked the matter and I just wanted, whatever I had told my dada to be between us. Lucky for me, my dada finally turned to sobbing and less tears. He said:
'Mera beta. My child. My angel. You're my angel. In these few days, be as happy as you can. If you're feeling that way for your parents and your brother, be expressive. Tell them that you love them. They will tell you that they love you too. And when they do that, save it in your heart, try to fill that hole inside of you with it. Go to your friends, and do the same. Embrace them, embrace the ones you love. Try to fill the open space. Don't let it expand Mera beta. Because if you will...' And he started crying again.

Two days had passed now and I had told everyone that I love them. I didn't keep a record but by the weirded out looks of my cousins and friends, I could tell that the number has exceeded even the unusual. My parents on the other hand, didn't give me the look like they were worried for me acting this way, or asked me about it. They returned the love and extended the affection twice as much as I showed. My brother wouldn't stop hugging me and surprise surprise, I wasn't annoyed. I felt the hole filling. Dada was right. But the feeling still remained; that odd feeling like I'm not destined to be where I am. I decided to let it stay knowing it would help the hole get bigger. I chose to stop thinking things had been odd.

'Kneel down everyone! Do not hold your head up, hide your faces and hide yourselves. Hide bachon. Hide my children. Hide...'
I heard her scream which faded as her white dress gradually got consumed by the red. It was like stars mingling in the galaxy, the way the red consumed white with its every drop. Starting with a single dot below her chest, it spread in her favourite dress, '...my husband gifted this to me, he says white is my colour. Okay, everyone page number 16.' I remember that glorious smile as she had told us that an hour before in English class.

'No....' Another scream faded in the amidst of thumps and thuds. Every colour was being consumed by red.
'Red is a lovely colour! Roses are red and they're beautiful right?' Affan had said that to me two days ago in the nursery near my home. 'I'll do something with plants and flowers. They are so beautiful, it exhilarates me!' Affan's smile had grown into the biggest I've ever seen when he continued talking about what he was going to be. And then he brought me back from the flashback by falling in my feet. A smile spread across his face, he bloomed like a flower and closed his eyes.

'Run! Run! Go to the classes! No, run.. No! No...' The star voice of our little family faded in the most melodious way. Even while taking his last breaths and saying his last words, one of my seniors hadn't lost the beautiful voice he had. from singing national anthem to the school anthem, or playing a guitar or a piano, or simply complimenting teachers by singing 'gulaabi aankhen', he was the owner of our hearts. He sang himself to sleep. Forever.

'They're there! Behind the doors!' An awful and excruciatingly painful sound caught my ears and I shut them with my palms. But the screeching sound didn't go. I felt my ear drums shattering as I heard the beastly inhumans call for us and reach us.
Everything seemed so confusing; at once I was in the middle of my school's auditorium seeing my loved ones smile to me and wave me a goodbye and fall asleep. The thumps, thuds and screeching went on in the background too. And at another time, I found myself in the locked classrooms under the chairs and tables. I saw them making their way towards us. But this time, they were the ones getting down. One by one, in front of me, the beasts were shattering and breaking to the floor. With a bullet hole in he forehead, or in the eye, I saw them lying there. I took a closer look and backed up. Scorpions and worms were making their way out of the scars and openings of their bodies. In a matter of seconds, I felt like I had had a glimpse of how something rots. When I realised I couldn't take it any more, I went back to where it had started; the auditorium.
'Miss! Your dress is all white again. I saw the red taking over and I wanted to come and wipe it off so your dress is vibrant and neat again. But now it's all clean. You look beautiful.' I said as I saw my teacher standing holding hands with another, smiling and satisfied. Her dress was cleaner than ever, the auditorium was glowing with beauty all around. And then I felt a hand on my shoulder, 'Affan!' Affan stood behind me, wearing a red velvet cloak. He had brought me roses, said they were from his very own garden and were freshly picked. I took them and they smelled like eternity. And then somebody held my right hand and led me to the stage. I joined everyone that I had left here when I went to the classrooms. My senior; the singer of our family sang a thank you and bid farewell. I was still baffled and unaware of what was going on... 'Dada?' I saw my dada weeping. He was settled in one of the chairs. He stood up, put his index finger on his heart and then pointed towards me. I now understood. The hole had expanded to its limit, it was time I vanished. And in feathers and flowers, the skies embraced us.