Crimson Love

Chapter 1: Social Suicide

Above is a picture of more or less what Scarlett should look like.

Scarlett's p.o.v.

I looked out the bus window that was covered in droplets of rain, trying to calm myself down for the day ahead of me. Today is going to be my first day back at school after my unexpected, week long visit to the hospital and I wasn't excited in the slightest. I have no friends! I have nobody to help me through this! I am completely alone, but maybe it's better that way. I don't want anyone to be burdened by having to help me through my troubles each day. Yeah, it's better that nobody gives a crap about me. I would just cause pain to anyone who would for some reason care.

My time at the hospital was horrible to say the least. The doctors treated me as though I was some mental case instead of a regular human being! They looked at me as if I was a freak for wanting to escape this world in hopes of something different, something better. It's not their place to judge me for my decisions! They are meant to treat the patients, who do they think they are?

Maybe I deserve the bullying I'm put through everyday. My mother has also suggested that I go to therapy and talk to the guidance councillor any free time that I have. Yeah, like that's going to happen. It's not like I'm going to willingly explain my thoughts and emotions to some stranger as they sit on a chair nodding and asking me 'and how did that make you feel?'. No, that's not something I need so why do it? She's probably going to force me to go no matter what I say though.

You can't really blame her for being so protective, I mean her only child did try to take her own life a week ago. I just wish she hadn't come home and I succeeded in my attempt. It would have been better for everyone in this unforgiving world. Sure people would pretend to miss me to make themselves look better, but after a few days I would be nothing but a faded memory. But that's just how this world works. Nobody really cares, and nothing will change that.

"Hey, you stupid ass dyke." I heard some kid say from beside me. I rolled my eyes pretending not to have heard him. It's not like he's wrong though. I just wish he would shut up and not state the obvious. I hoped that my ignoring him would stop the insults from continuing to spill out of his mouth, but of course, I was wrong. He just continued the talking.

"So, a little birdie told me that last week you tried to kill yourself. It's kind of sad that it didn't work out for you. Maybe you should give it another shot? Maybe, if we all wish hard enough, next time you'll actually succeed. You know, I think it would be really good for you to finally do something right." I could feel the anger rising in me and it took all the strength I had not to beat him to a bloody pulp right then.

Well, I would try at least. I might have been able to get one punch in if I was extremely lucky. Then I would proceed to be beaten pretty much to a state of death before he would finally figure I wasn't worth it anymore. And of course he wouldn't get in trouble because most of the teachers don't really care about the safety of their students.

I heard some kids laughing at my expense from a few seats down. I used to get offended by things like this, the name calling and the bullying. But I have learned better. I know that all the things they say are true. I really don't know why they even try to get to me anymore. They all think they are being original when they call me names, they don't realise that I've been hearing the same things from before I can even remember.

As I was thinking about the idiocy of people, the bus came to a sudden stop, making me bash my head against the metal of the seat infront of me. I grasped my head as a shooting pain surged throughout my skull. I tried my best to look over the seat to look for the reason for my pain, which really wasn't an easy task considering how short I am. When I finally managed to raise my head above my seat I quickly slid back down holding my breath.