Dying Is The Answer (slow update)

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January 13, 2016

Dear Diary,

I was at the cafeteria line and I overheard two nerds whispering behind my back. The one in big geeky glasses said that I had the perfect life.

Yes, I may be the most popular in our school and has straight A's but perfect life? I don't think my life should be described that way. Well, let me rephrase it; I am living the life with the opposite of perfect. I have a big group of sweet friends that whispers behind my back. I have the richest parents who will have their divorce anytime now. I have the school's jock as my boyfriend who cheats with my best fake friend.

I know. My life is really perfect! (note the sarcasm)

Oh! One more, my life sucks. I would love to die any second now. In fact, I already planned my death. On Sunday, on this week, I would walk down the Golden Bridge and when the clock ticks exactly 12 noon. I would jump. I may be saved, on my way to the bridge, if someone smiles at me I wouldn't continue my plan. I just hope, maybe?

And I present to you, my life...

"Raven? Dinner's ready!"

"I'm coming mom!" I closed my Mac Book as I wiped my tears and wore my smile fake smile.

I've been through a lot and just a few days more my agony will finally end.

The dining table is so homey with the smell of our maid's cooking. My parents are talking sweetly about the past hurricane. They're not fooling anyone with their "we're-okay-and-very-happy smiles". I perfectly know that my dad cheats with his secretary and mom and dad is having a divorce anytime soon.

"Raven, how's school? Your mom and I saw that Physic test of yours." My dad said trying to spark a conversation.

"Honey, I am really proud of you. Valedictorian is it eh?"

I know that my parents are trying their best to conceal their dying marriage. I mean, they could win an Emmy Award for their clap worthy acting. Maybe I got my acting skills from them.

"I think so mom. But it's a tight competition. I'm trying my very best to make you guys proud." I said with a matching sweet smile. I've got their genes in acting.

"That's our girl."

"Steve, I thought you've got something to say to Raven." My mom said to my dad. I knew that they're going to spill the divorce news, I mean if I didn't know it yet.

"Oh! Yes. Darling, because you won that competition of yours again. We've decide-"My dad was cut with his phone ringing. That bitch girl he's sleeping with again.

"I just need to take this, it's my boss" my dad said his "so-not-new excuse" again.

Then he exited the table and talked with his so-called boss again. And for some unknown reason, my mom exited the table too and I've noticed tears brimming from her eyes. I knew that my mom knows about the affair my dad has, and I also know that it was the reason that my mom was suffering a quite depression. I just hate my dad for doing that especially because my mom loves him so much that she willingly quit college just to marry him and it just sucks to see my mom getting hurt over my dad being a jerk.

I've lost my appetite once again. I called in the maids and pulled myself up to my room.

I could hear my phone ringing with my weakest voice as I enter my enormous room.

"RAVEN MARIE MATHERS! MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU AS YOU ANSWER THIS CALL. RAVEN MARIE MATHERS! MAY THE FORCE B-"

"Rav, you wouldn't believe what juices I made Jessica to spill! Freshly squeezed gossips!" A high-pitched giggly voice welcomed me as I picked up my phone. Guess who, it's Maddie my best fake friend who is no-so-secretly having an affair with my guy.

"Okay, spill it babe" I replied imitating her giggly voice.

"Adam just pulled a trick on Nerdy Nancy again and it was just hilarious!" I just don't know why I am even friends with these mean bitchy girls. "Rence was even there and he helped me out when I almost slipped! You're so luc-" Now Rence, we were almost 4 years and then he chooses to cheat with me. I really love  him.

Another problem; Maddie. She has even the nerve to talk about him helping her, with me.

"And then we decided to go to th-

I put my phone on mute and I just let her speak while tears spilled like a river to my face.

I am so looking forward for next week wherein all my problems would jump with me in the sea.