Things I've never been able to tell you.

2:19 // December 14th

My mother came into my room last night and sat on my bed while we were on the phone and she asked who I was talking to. Of course, my reply was, "Who else?" Then she excitedly shot back something that was to be told to you immediately. She sat there for a little bit and I talked to her for a while and you didn't seem to mind. We talked about the party I had just been to and about boys and then she got up to kiss my cheek goodnight. She let out a giggle before exiting. I asked her why and she said, "I really like him. I really like the person you are when you're with him." I know she's been happy with boys who have come through the house before because she felt she had to be. I don't think I realized how my family treats you when you're here. I've never had a boy stay in the house until 12 AM for any reason. Especially when all we were doing was laying on the floor messing around. Those are the nights I'm going to remember the most though. The nights my mother smiles ear to ear when she chimes into a giddy conversation of ours and when she does, I'll know exactly why. It's weird having approval from her for someone like you. I'm not complaining, god... Not at all. I agree with her actually. I like the person I am with you as well. You've done nothing but positive things to my life and to my personality. You brighten every last part of my day and you never let me go to sleep angry. You make me a better person and I'd like to think I do the same to you. I hope I make you happy or will be able to eventually. I'm still on the phone with you now, 5 hours later, and I still smile without reason. You make the long nights so much easier to bear. As you mumble unintelligible words I smile even wider. I want to whisper I love you but that's dangerous. I do love you and I know you love me but I can't do that to you now. Maybe another night. Until that night comes, goodnight, xoxo.