•weed• •lrh•

•3•

once the therapy session thing was over, everyone made their way out of the room. i didnt want to have to push my way through all of the people so i grabbed a cookie from the table of food while everyone left.

"you want one?" i asked luke and held a cookie out for him.

"oh, oh no. no thats okay." he resisted.

"michael?" i offered the cookie to him instead.

he looked up from his phone and grabbed the cookie from my hand.

"well, we're gonna go. are you gonna text me?" luke asked.

"probably not."

"come on, I'm not that bad!"

"fine." i sighed.

luke walked out of the room quickly. michael was close behind him. i texted aaron as i made my way out of the room.

me: it's over.
aaron: im already outside. :)

i hurried outside so he wouldnt have to wait on me.

"so, how was it girly?" aaron asked as i stepped inside his beaten up car.

"eh, i don't know. it was okay. do you remember luke from high school? luke hemmings?"

"oh my yes, calum used to pick on him a lot? god, he was cute." aaron responded as he started to pull out of the parking lot and drive home.

"yeah he is. i just saw him.. he was in the same session as me.. it was uh, really awkward.."

"what really? you like him?"

"i mean he's cute but i dunno. i don't really know him" i said as i strapped on my seat belt.

"you get his number?"

"okay aaron, stop now haha"

"sorry. just tryna help you smash.."

"hey i can 'smash' any time i want to."

"uh huh, right. c'mon let's go."

we both took off our seat belts and stepped out of the car, making our way towards our front door. as soon as i opened the door, the smell of smoke and alcohol hit me. it always smells like that. i hate it. i hate that this is what i come home to everyday. i hate it so much. i sighed as i walked up the steps and passed the hallway as i walked into my room. i saw my mom in the bathroom crying and looking in the mirror. i walked in the room and she didn't see me right away.

"m-mom?" i said softly, trying not to startle her. she still jumped. there were bruises and cuts scattered around her face.

"oh, alex honey. you shouldn't have to see me like this" she tried to speak but all that came out were whispers. she sniffled and turned away.

"mom.. let me help you." i grabbed a rag and got it damp, dabbing her face with it. she winced at the pain.

"thank you so much alexia.. we've gotta end this.."

"end what?"

"everything. your father.."

"why don't we just call the cops?"

"if your dad finds out, i'm afraid of what he'll do to you and aaron."

"you too mom, not just us."

"well, what are we gonna do?" she sighed.

"i don't know.." i yawned.

"were you up late again?"

i nodded in response.

"go and rest. i can handle this."

i nodded again and stepped out. i walked down the hallway towards my room, the walls paint chipping away. my room was messy, the walls used to be white, but the color has slowly darkened over time.

after a while of preparing the substance in the brown bag from the vent, I started to hear yelling. it happens a lot. fighting. screaming. crying. I usually just put on music to cancel it out. i plugged my headphones in and shuffled my playlist. once no sound came out, I realized my headphones were broken.

sometimes, the yelling can be really triggering. the fighting and crying makes me realize how fucked up everything really is. i texted calum to avoid my own thoughts.

me: you wanna hang out?
calum: can't, busy. finally got Madison to loosen up, she's coming over soon. ;)
me: oh okay.

he was busy. I didn't want to bother him. I couldn't think of anyone else who could take my mind off things. I messaged Luke.

me: hey, it's alexia.
Luke..?: omf, hiii I thought you wouldn't text me lol
me: i guess you got lucky then huh?
Luke..?: very... how are you?
me: I've actually been better believe it or not haha
Luke..?: want to come over, or meet up somewhere?? I have a joint..
me: yes actually. abandoned house? the one across from mine.
Luke..?: now I know where you live ;)

i grabbed a hoodie, regardless of the weather, threw my phone in my pocket and snuck out the window. I had to text aaron so he'd cover for me.

me: im leaving, cover for me?
big bro <3: yes ofc ((: have fun.

I snuck outside. it had drastically warmed up. it was really cold yesterday. now it feels like spring. it's only February. i ran in between fences and gates so no one would see me on government owned property. Luke was already there. weird.

"come escape with me.." he said as smoke left his mouth. it was. an awkward turn on..

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OKAY SORRY I HAVWNT BEEN WRITING BUT HEYYY I LIKE THIS A LOT ILY BYEEE