The Cool Kid

The Suicide Stigma

I woke up with a large cast mounted on my arm, laying in my bed. I heard muffled voices that soon became clear to me as Kankri and another unfamiliar voice. "Physically he is on the road to discovery but internally this will be a long hall, did he exhibit any warning signs?" It must have been my doctor, warning signs for what? Kankri sound panicked "This is so awful, I can't imagine what he was feeling when he wrote that suicide note." Fuck, suicide? It was just a dramatic teenage rant, not a cry for help! I wanted to speak up but I couldn't, I just let out a groan. Kankri rushed over to my side "It's gonna be okay." This was a misunderstanding of epic proportions! God I wanted to die... I mean, you know what I mean!

The next day I walked in school with a large clunky cast, everyone was giving me attention but not in the way I originally wanted. When I ranted about starving for visibility I really should have specified the type of visibility I wanted. Some people swore my suicide was popping pills, others thought it was pop rocks and Coke, and some strange kinky people spread that it was autoerotic asphyxiation. For two weeks, I tried to explain that my accident was really just that! An accident. The more I denied it the more everyone assumed that I was in denial, it was a vicious cycle. As I went to my locker and slammed my head into it, the bitchiest girl in school and her sidekick stood a few feet away from me; Vriska and Feferi. "I can't believe he came to school with that horrid cast on his arm, it must be soooooooo embarrassing." Vriska cooed. Feferi shushed her and nodded her head back toward me. "Why are you shooshing me?" Vriska snapped "Sorry!" Feferi squeaked. "The freak wants us to talk about him, that's why she did it. It was a pathetic ploy for attention." Feferi nodded as they walked away.

I finally got to walk with my friends after 8 grueling periods of staring. "Everyone is treating me like I'm in a bad Lifetime movie." I whined. Kanaya looked sympathetic while Terezi simply replied "You could be the one with Krysten Stewart." Kanaya corrected "She got molested in that..." I intervened "You guys know I would never try to hurt myself, right?" Kanaya rubbed my back sounding unsure "We know Karkat." I turned to Terezi "Right?" She didn't reply, I sighed and kept walking. As we walked out of the front entrance I asked "Is there a sign that says 'please stars' across my forhead?" Terezi interjected "It's not on your forhead its on your arm, it's a little big but you'll grow into it." She paused "Who am I kidding we said the same thing about your baby fat." I growled and laughed a little "Ow! It hurts to laugh. You guys go ahead I'm gonna wait out the herd." Kanaya smiled at me "Alright, we'll see you later Karkat." They both started to walk away when I saw him, Dave. It was the first time we'd seen each-other since summer camp. A crowd of girls were swarming him so he simply nodded in my direction. I was taken in by his smile, until some douchebag bumped into my arm. I had almost forgotten how fucked up I looked. He mouthed 'Are you okay?' It was a complicated question. I looked down and he started to walk away along with his army of skanks and just then I heard a crackle over the speakers "Karkat Vantas, please report to the counselor's office." It must have been my lucky day.