Try Tears

The hatred of being Alone

(This chapter includes self harm just a warning) 

"Em!" He yelled out my name pulling me into a bone crushing hug. I stood there awkwardly, not hugging back. Harry let go of me holding me by the shoulders, looking up and down at me, "You've grown so much" he said smiling down at me. I shrugged him off, walking off into the kitchen dropping my backpack down. My mum was sitting at the table reading the paper. I walked up to her and slammed the paper down "What the hell is he doing here?!" I whisper yelled at her. She looked at me directly in the eyes "Because he's your brother and my son and this is his house, he's aloud to come home" She said picking up the paper. I groaned and walked back into the living room. I walked past Harry and scolded at him causing him to frown. I didn't care, he wasn't here for 3 years, no calling or texting. I ran up to my room making sure to slam the door. I fell back onto my bed, a lump in the back of my throat. I refused to cry. I haven't cried in almost three years. I got up and walked to my bathroom. I bit my lip and reached for my old sharp friend. My razor. I stared at it making sure I wanted to make another mark on my body. I brought it down to my upper thigh slicing it through my skin. The blood pouring out directly after. I grabbed a towel and applied pressure to the wound. I sat against the tub keeping the pressure applied. It wouldn't stop bleeding but I refused to panic. I grabbed a gauze and wrapped it around my still bleeding leg. I slowly got up feeling dizzy but shook it off. I walked out my bathroom and plugged my phone into some speakers. I blasted Alone by Sleeping with Sirens Feat. MGK and laid in my bed slowly closing my eyes falling into a deep sleep. 

Harry POV:

I saw my little sister come through the front door from school. Happiness ran through me. I haven't seen her in so long. "Em!" I yelled jumping up hugging her, not wanting to let go. When she didn't hug back I pulled away not thinking anything of it. "You've grown so much" I told her smiling widely. They way she shrugged me off left me confused. I looked at the boys who were looking just as confused as me. I shrugged my shoulders and walked back over to them. "That was weird" I muttered to them. They nodded "Harry that didn't seem like the Emmalyn you told us about." Louis mentioned, as I nodded with agreement "I don't know what's wrong wither her. I thought she would be excited to see me" I said rubbing the back of my neck. "She's cute" my friend Niall mumbled. I stood up and looked at all of them "She is off limits! No dating" I said sternly. Niall put his hands up in defense "Mate I was just saying. She's a little to young for me." I sighed in relief "Good" I said. Em walked back into the and looked directly at me and scolded at me. I frowned 'What have I done' I asked myself. I looked over to my mother and she shrugged, though she looked like she was hiding something. I sighed and fell back onto the sofa running my hand through my thick curly locks "Don't worry mate maybe she's just having a bad day" Liam said. I nodded sadly. I turned the television on and started to watch Doctor Who. About 25 minutes into it, I heard music blasting from Emmalyns room. I sighed and ran to her room banging on the door "Open up and put that lower!" I yelled. When she didn't answer I tried to open the door but it was locked. Fear washed over me, she would never lock the door. I reached up and found a key at the top of the doorframe and unlocked the door. I busted into the room and saw her asleep. Relief washed over me. I walked over to her speakers and turned them off. I looked over at her and smiled a bit, happy to be back home. I walked out her room and quietly closed her door, my mother standing there shaking her head, her arms crossed over her chest, "What?" I asked her. She sighed "Nothing, she always does this. And when I turn her music off she wakes up and gets mad at me, and when you do it she stays asleep" She said softly. I looked at her slightly alarmed "She does this everyday?" I asked quietly. She nodded "Ever since you left" She whispered, looking down. "Mum I left to follow my dreams, she knows that." I said pointing out the facts. She bit her lip rubbing her neck nervously. My eyes widened "She does know right?!" I nearly shouted. She shook her head, before she could answer I pulled her into her bedroom and she explained why,  "Your step dad and I didn't tell her. We couldn't tell her the reason. We just told her you left" She said softly. She looked up at me "Harry we did it for her" She trailed off. "Mum why didn't you tell her the truth?!" I yelled at her. I would never raise my voice at my mother but I think this is a acceptable time. "Harry, your step dad did! I was with you when he told her!" She said obviously annoyed by the subject. "She never found out about you being on the Xfactor, she doesn't know you're in a boyband or anything like that! We've kept it from her to protect her" She ranted on. I looked at her "She probably thinks I'm like..." Mum cut me off "Like your father" she whispered. I looked at her in the eyes, my green eyes full with sadness as I noticed her expression "No" I whispered trying to hold back tears. She slowly nodded her head "Yeah" she mumbled. Tears spilled out my eyes "Mum, I left her alone like he did! I was supposed to protect her! I failed at that!" I sobbed out. she wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me into a hug "I was suppose to there for her" I trailed off and looked into my mums eyes "Why can't she love me like I love her?" I asked softly, falling into my mothers arms.