Letters From a Lover | ✓

no. 1

This was originally written as a fanfiction. I have changed some names to make it a teen fiction story, but if you'd like, you can still read it as a fanfiction if you know what it was originally for. If that is the case, disregard the name changes and the cast.

• • •

Dear Marie,

Isn't it ironic? The main reason we disconnected was distance and it may be the thing that brings us together again. Anyways, I haven't heard from you in a while— three years, nearly four actually, but it's not like I count or anything.

I'm going to tell you, simple and sweet. I genuinely miss you. There has hardly ever been a day that I haven't thought about you. Maybe it was in anger, maybe it was a longing for some beloved one by my side, or maybe I'm just delusional.

There have been days where I sat at my desk with notes and textbooks in front of me. I had essays to write and exams to study for, but instead, I would just think about you. All the great memories we had replayed in my mind.

I'm currently still living in Texas and post gaming videos on YouTube— you know my about my video game obsession— and actually never ended up going to college. But that's alright, I make enough money off of YouTube to survive.

Before you pin all of the blame on me, I would like to point out that you agreed to this as well; it was mutual. You said you were also thinking the same thing.

I'd assume that you're graduating college very soon, being the smartass you are. (See what I did there?) And I'll bet that you're planning on staying in school for a year or two extra to get a higher degree. Nerd.

Anyways, I'm not too sure why I'm writing this to you. Maybe you'll see the envelope and think, Preston? I hate you. I don't want to be associated with you. In that case, you'd probably rip up this letter and never see this. And that's understandable. I'd probably hate myself too if I was in your position.

However, if you're reading this, you had decency to at least check what it says before you threw it away or something.  In that case, I wish you were here.  It's lonely when the camera is turned off.  I could be having an awesome time with my friends, raging, bantering about, and laughing while playing video games, but as soon as the camera is powered off, there's no one physically with me to interact with.

Typically, my friends, usually Robert, Vik, Luke and I, the occasional John, and if we're lucky, Mike will join us, have a short conversation before we part our ways. It's nice to know that those guys have got my back, no matter what, even though they live in different parts of the world, Canada, Florida, England, Australia, miles away.

Anyways, this isn't about my friends, this about me. Me and you. I mean, there's probably not a chance of us being together. I'm in Texas, you're in New York. And I doubt any one of us are is willing to move to an entirely different environment, which is fine and understandable, but I miss seeing you and your smile and your eyes and your nose and every bit of you.

I just want you to know that I still love you and that I miss you. I'm not too sure if you believe me— wait, no, knowing you, you definitely think that this is a load of bull. I can promise you that that is false.

I know exactly how you're going to respond to this, "I hate you, Preston. You're just wasting my time."  Then you'll rip this paper up.  You know, if you respond, I'll consider that an accomplishment.

Marie, I promise you that this isn't a joke. I miss you and I really love you, I assure you. 

I remember when we danced in your backyard under the moonlight that weekend your parents weren't home. It was around ten at night, which is pretty late to be outside still, and we were playing Panic! at the Disco songs through a speaker. I never really liked their music, any of their music throughout their different genre albums. I knew that they were your favorite band, so I dealt with it, for your sake. "I Write Sins, Not Tragedies" became our song.

I know they're going on tour this summer. If you were here, we probably would've ended up going together, but then I would've been that person who has no idea what's going on. Whatever, it would be worth it seeing you be happy.

I love you. Goddammit, I still love you after I told you to leave and never see me again. I'm sorry and I wish I never said that.

You were chasing your dreams, while I was cowering and hiding from mine. How pathetic.

My dream was being with you. I had imagined so many perfect moments in my mind and I was ready for them to occur, but they never did. You left for New York. I don't blame you; you deserved it after all of your hard work and determination. I don't think I've ever met someone who was so willing to chase after their dream, someone who would wasn't going to stop until they captured, someone who loved what they did as much as you did.

Acting was always your thing. You were amazing at portraying other people's characters. You had that empathy and the ability to walk around in someone else's shoes. Hell, you could probably run in them.

Anyways, I miss you. I've felt empty for years and I have finally located the heart of the problem.

With much love,
Preston