The man I love ( Levi x Eren x Jean)

What the hell am i going to do

Kevin's POV
Honestly at this rate I don't know what the hell to do anymore. In my mind know I have been thinking of let the days go by knowing the fact that I will die soon or either take my own life away to make things easier for me. I know sucide isn't the answer but put yourself in my shoes, what would you rather do keep on living knowing when is your deadline of your life or kill yourself just to get the whole death thing over with. Just give it some thought, it's painful to know that especially that m hiding this from everyone I truly love and care about, know that the love of my life knows that I will be leaving her soon. I won't be able to live the dreams I wanted to live, like get married to Lindsay and have 3 or 4 kids with her, see Eren get married. But I don't want to marry Lindsay now because there would be no point of marrying her. I would soon leave her she would be widowed and probably live in sorrow for the rest of her life because of me. That is why I've made my decision to tell her on my last and final day to move on, get married and live on with someone else. It hurts to say, think, or even imagine that but it would do good for her and me. As for Eren I'd tell him to continue with Levi, don't let my death affect his relationship with Levi he deserves to enjoy his life. He already did enough to help and support me as a big brother he has been for me. For the past days I've been depressed, I don't eat as much either and I do t smile as much as I do back in the past. I try to think positive as possible but I can't with this condition I'm in right now. I act my normal self when I get home with Eren and Levi so they wouldn't suspect anything wrong with me. I don't plan on telling Eren so people wouldn't judge him to be a terrible person that he doesn't know what I'm going through but I think he wouldn't notice due to all the paper work he has to do at work.

" Kevin! Come on we're going out together" Eren said snapping me out my thoughts

"Oh-okay" I said weakly

"Are you okay Kevin?" Eren said with cover in his eyes

"Bah- since when do I look not okay to you" I said trying to cover it up

"Your lying Kevin, I'm your older brother, I'm here to help you now tell me what's wrong" Eren said sitting next to me

"Ugh fine you got me, it's just that my stomach hurts" I said hopping he would for it

"You want me to make you some tea, or give you a belly rub my little Kevin" Eren cooed

"No I'm not a baby anymore, but can I get belly rub" I said acting like a baby

"Alright Kev, come on over here and lay on your back" Eren said patting his lap for me to lay on

"Okay" I said. I did as instructed and Eren started to run my stomach, it reminded me back when we were kids I was 7 and he was 13 he would run my stomach when I had a stomach ache or when I got out of fights with other kids.He was my guardian angle and still is, I can trust him with anything just not the whole me having cancer. Why? You ask well he might get depressed as well and go to the bars and drink, come home drunk then lose everything for his stupid addiction with alcohol .After I told him I felt better we went out with Armin and Mikasa just like when we were kids. We went out for coffee, to the park, Eren tripped over 3 rocks. We wrestled on the green grass of Central Park, I'm glad that I'm able to live this moment with my family. Mikasa pulled Eren's ear for playing 'too rough' with me, Eren would give me glares and Armin and I would laugh at him. We went shopping mainly because of Mikasa, she said she needed new clothes even though she has a lot. So me, Armin, and Eren are waiting for Mikasa in boredom, we decided to why not fool around. Eren took way to far, he took the wig off a display and took some clothes for women( btw was extra large cause he's tall). When he came out he ran over to Mikasa, she chased him to the dressing room to change back to normal. I was dying of laughter and so was Armin, like any other person would do I recorded and posted on my Snapchat, and Instagram .

From there we made our way home, first we dropped Mikasa home then Armin. As we made our him me and Eren, we laughed at the moments of today. I looked up at Eren and smiled and he ruffled my hair in response. When we got into the building we saw Levi tapping his foot with a spoon in his hand waiting in front of door. I laughed nervously and so did Eren, Eren bent down to my level and whispered in my ear-Ready to have more fun Kevin? I take Levi and you get the spoon on three, roger- I nodded in response Levi looked a little confused but kept his straight face. I looked up at Eren and then that's when it commenced.

"THREE !" Eren yelled and ran to Levi and swung Levi onto his shoulder. I ran and took the spoon from Levi. Levi was trying to escape Eren's grasp but there is no way in hell you can escape Eren he has strong grip. Then Levi whispered something in Eren's that made Eren let go of Levi. I looked at them at confusion and Eren turned around with the creepiest grin on his face that's when I knew that I was going down. Levi and Eren tackled with tickles they were tickling me. I was laughing so hard I must cried.

'I wish I can rejoice everyday like this, it hurts me knowing the fact that I will be leaving soon. Oh Eren you are the best brother I've ever had, and Levi I hope you make Eren a better person, even though he can be weird at times but care for him'

--Kevin Jäeger