Monkeys Fighting Badgers

The Legacy of Dirty John Grimsby

My father was a good man, and not just from my perspective, but an opinion I shared with every denizen of our seaside town, regardless of his less than respectable occupation. My father was a loan officer or if I were to be more honest, a loan shark, a term which evokes visions of a vile slimy man breaking bones for delinquent payments. There were a few unfortunate incidents where my father was forced to do things that, as a child, would cause me to wretch, but he loathed those actions and resisted resorting to strong-arm methods unless completely unavoidable. Even the victims of such tactics never held any ill will against my father. His compassion and penchant for fairness were unmatched, but he was still a businessman.

Twice a month I accompanied my father on business, though I always envied my sister. My father's associations stretched beyond our own lands. He often traveled to exotic locations, but it was my sister, not I, that accompanied him on his foreign excursions. Not only did I never once accompany him across the oceans, but neither he, nor my sister, would speak of these journeys, which only served to further entice my curiosity. A souvenir and silence were all the answers my enquirers received.

Eventually, my juvenile curiosity became insurmountable. One night, before my father's next voyage, we enjoyed a feast of a glazed goose served with squash and sliced potatoes, and a crisp rhubarb pie for dessert. Meals like this were customary before my father and sister left for their journey. My mother admonished me for drinking too much cider, but she was not privy to my plan, for obvious reasons. I already decided would follow my them so I could at least experience something of their mysterious journeys, so I was ensured my bladder would be filled to near exploding conditions, hoping the need to relieve myself would wake me prior to their departure.

My plan worked without issue; though I did have to catch up when it took me longer than expected to empty my screaming bladder. Within minutes I was easily shadowing their steps as they made for the wharf, sliding silently behind a row of trees just off the main pathway. The full round moon illuminated them, but it was a boon for me, causing the trees to cast deeper shadows toward my position. The advantage didn't last. A thick, choking fog began forming on the sea. It hovered upon the shimmering water and threatened to lick the land before deciding whether to engulf it fully.

Our house was a half an hour's walk from the wharf. He refused to call a coach for the journey. He did not want to inconvenience anyone when he was capable of walking.

Tendrils of fogged licked at the wooden piers, like a great octopus testing its' land legs. Though there was a great bustle of sailors and dock workers running back and forth, barking orders, there were no ships to be seen, at least none that would carry passengers. There was one large but unoccupied trading ship, but only small, unused fishing boats otherwise.

While scanning for ships I failed to notice when my father and sister disappeared from sight. Scanning the area while keeping out of sight,I finally spied them in between a row of large shipping crates, bags open in front of them. They pulled articles of clothing from their satchels. Before my eyes my respectable and kind father seemed to transform into some sort of monster, not the sort of monster resides in the dark recesses of your room, but a monster nonetheless. My sister, a hard but not uncommon girl, changed as well, and they capped off this change when each buckled a sword belt around their waists.

As if signaled, a large wooden ship melted the fog around itself. As a child, I found this black vessel so utterly terrifying that I was convinced it didn't emerge from the fog so much as the fog ran away for the terrifying creatures carved into the bow. Though it was nothing more than a construct of wood, steel, and cloth, I felt I'd never see anything so horrid and monstrous in my entire life. To this day I'm still not sure I've seen its' equal, which is how I pray it remains.