I Found Myself, Lost In You

Chapter 1

Light breeze pickled my skin as my hands gripped the metal railings. My dull and gloomy eyes stared off into the horizon. The stagnant water was illuminated by the soothing light of the full moon; filling me with serenity. I wanted escape from from the party that was in full swing behind me. My good friend Natalie had turned twenty-five today so her brother, AKA my boss decided to celebrate the special day by throwing a grand party. Almost everyone from my office were present and having the time of their lives; dancing, drinking and making merry. Me on the other hand could find little to no amusement in the event and preferred solitude. It's not like I don't enjoy parties, I was just not in the mood to mingle with people. Some of the invited guests made unsuccessful attempts to ask me to dance which I kindly declined with an apologetic smile.
I would not have come in the first place but I didn't want to ruin Natalie's big day. Afterall she's been a great friend to me since it was her who helped me in getting the opportunity to work in one of the city's most prestigious company. We've known eachother since our university days. We both had our major in architecture which led us to becoming close pals and eventually colleagues at the same firm. However, our interaction every single day was at the minimum due to our hectic schedules. There's not a second to waste.
I let out an exasperated sigh. My shoulders were aching from sitting on the same posture all day long. The ship was inundated with the chatter of the guests and I spotted Natalie with a smile plastered on her face. She was spending time with her relatives who had flown all the way from Wellington to celebrate her birthday party. They worked really hard in decorating the ship, which was very obvious. It was glowing brightly because of the numerous strings of light that were attached around the deck. The light pink balloons that were tied on every corner were swaying gently with the chilly, winter breeze.
"So this is where you've been hiding all night." A voice with a British accent spoke up. I turned my face to the right and saw Dylan walking towards me. I gave him a smile. "Yeah it's really peaceful here." I stated in a slightly energetic tone. I was extremely exhausted and wanted nothing but to run home where my beloved bed would be waiting for me with open arms.
"Hmm..." He trailed off while focusing his gaze on the view in front of us. We stayed silent for a couple of seconds before he broke it saying, "So... Any plans for the holidays?"
I almost forgot that since winter had arrived, holidays weren't that far either. That meant Christmas and the anticipation of new year.
Plans? I got none. Except for the usual practice of cuddling up with a nice novel, a hot chocolate in hand and the warmth radiating off of the fireplace.
"Nothing special." I muttered nonchalantly which raised his eyebrows.
"You're kidding right?" He questioned and I shook my head with certainty.

"Ellie, it's winter for crying out loud! It comes once every year and it's the only time when you get to have fun in the snow." He exclaimed.
By fun in the snow, he must be referring to the snowball fighting, snowmen building and ice skating which children love doing. But I had let go of all those foolish antics a very long time ago when I became fully immersed in my professional life. My life now consisted of nothing but me focusing on my career and making my family proud. I was the perfect workaholic. Through hard work and devotion, I had successfully accomplished all my goals: a comfortable house, a stable income, a functional car and wonderful colleagues. Even so, my heart lacked contentment and my mind yearned for peace.
Something was missing in life and I couldn't pin-point exactly what it was. There might be a possibility that I was simply being ungrateful but aren't people suppose to be happy once they have everything they ever wanted? When I consulted others about this unusual issue, their answers mostly included getting a boyfriend or starting a family. I don't see how getting into a relationship is going to solve anything. It'll just put more burden and responsibilities on my weary shoulders.

I returned home after the ship had dropped us off on solid ground and, as if on cue, I collapsed on my bed as soon as soon as I got to my room. I needed all the sleep I can get to go through yet another busy day.
My tedious routine usually commenced with the obnoxious tune of the alarm clock that would be flashing the digits 06:00 Am in red. I would change into my formal attire, chug a glass of coffee and leave for work after grabbing the keys. As if the same song was being played on repeat on a gramophone, my life continued to go through the same stages every single day. I'd be meeting the same people at the office, putting on fake smiles and retire to my office where piles of paper work would be all set to welcome me. There must be more to life than this, more than just mere monotony.

"And so I wish you all a very Merry Christmas in advance and pray, that this new year will bring more prosperity and success to the company. Thank you all." My boss, Brendan Trevor announced while standing before us in the conference room. We clapped in glee. The meeting had ended and chatter soon broke out amongst the employees. I sauntered out the room along with Dylan. The long awaited holidays had finally come to give relief and joy to everyone who seemed to already have a lot of things on their to-do-list. I didn't know what to expect from December other than boredom and was looking forward to knowing what it had in store for me.