Mary

Chapter2: Pathetic Little Me

My life just kept getting worse and worse. We moved into an apartment that was shittier than our last one. It had a whole in the ceiling where a light should be and rats scampered around at all times a day.
Mother got a shitty boyfriend named Boo ( who the fuck names their kid Boo? Ghost buster's?) He always got drunk while watching me and I'd sneak down the hall to see Mrs.Roy. She would tell me about how my mom used to be a good little girl.

"Now she's a hoe who can't even keep up with her kid." She would say and shove a plate at me.

"You knew my mom when she was a kid?" I asked as I ate.

"Me and your grandma were old friends." She answers looking down at me, "Eat your food you're too skinny." I shovel it all down and asked for seconds.

The thing is Mother acted as if taking care of me was a chore. Something on her to do list. Not like I was her daughter.
I later found out that that's just what I was.  A task on a to-do-list.
***
One day we were sitting in the apartment eating dinner. Momma's belly was big and round with a baby.
Boo came in and slammed the door. He and mom argued over bills as usual. Boo didn't work but seemed  to always be worried about money that wasn't his. 

"She is costing us too much money, Monica. We have a child of our own, we are going to be parents. Don't you think she should be with her's?" He asks her. I press my ear to the bathroom door to hear better. 

"She is my responsibility and I'm not giving her up. We'll just have to figure it out." Momma answers.

Boo storms out in a fit, Momma shakes her head as she looks at him. "I don't know why I stay with him." she says.

I didn't know either.

The next day while my mother was at work and Boo was sleep, I got ready for my mid-day bath. For a four year old I was pretty good at taking care of myself. I didn't need any help washing or dressing myself.

I hummed as the water ran and poured in hand soap, my version of a bubble bath. I got in and laid back, relaxed. 

Then the door opened.

I immediately sat up and watched  as Boo walked towards me. We had no bathroom curtain so the only thing that covered me were the quickly dissolving bubbles. 

"Look at you sitting there like you own the damn place. I bet you think it's funny that we are living like rats and you are just sitting lodging in the tub, like Cleopatra or something." He scoffs looking down at me with disgust. 

I reach for my towel and he snatches it away. "Do you know how much this towel cost? More than you are worth and you're going to start paying your dues." He yanks me out of the tub naked and takes me into the room and throws me on the bed. 

It doesn't feel as if it had happened to me. It feels like a tragic scene I witnessed. A little girl being raped by a drunken man... But it was me.

Momma came in after he had started. She forced him off me and hugged me to her. 

The one time she hugged me.

The next events are a blur. Screaming, fighting then blood. Boo's blood, all over our floor. The only thing that was clear is me watching Momma get arrested and her promising to me," I will always take care of you."

That was the last time I saw my momma.

***

I stayed with Mrs.Roy months after that. She never asked if I wanted to visit my mom, and I never wanted to. Things were just starting to almost seem normal when we got a knock on the door one day.

"Mercy?" Mrs.Roy asked when she opened the door.  I got up and tried to see who it is, but Mrs.Roy's big hips block my view. 

"Yes, it's me. I came for Marie, my ... uh niece." answered the woman in a sweet sounding voice. It reminded me of the day I was born.

Mrs.Roy stepped aside to reveal little me. The woman tall with well rounded hips and wild curly hair. The thing that fascinated me the most was her light brown eyes- almost the color of honey, just like my own. 

"Hi." she said and held out her hand. I grabbed it and she pulled me into a hug. I wiggled uncomfortably but she just held me closer and sighed.

"I'm Mercy your... Aunt." She finishes as if to find the right word. "Did your mom ever tell you about me?"

"No." I answered.

At first she looks sad but then she smiles and say," well you're going to live with me now."

I nodded. I didn't know who she was but she seemed nice. It made it hard to believe that she was related to my mom.

Her house was big and spacious. She showed me to my room where there was a bed and a night stand but nothing else.

" Maybe tomorrow we can pick out some stuff and decorate the room?" She says. I shrug and sit on the bed. A few minutes later I hear a door close downstairs. Mercy leaves the room to go downstairs.

After a while I hear loud yelling and a man's voice," I don't want some bastard child in my house!" I lay on the bed and eventually sleep to the sound of there voices. I wake later that night to the door closing and a light being flicked on. At first I thought it was Mercy but stare at the man I could only believe was an earthly devil.
"Mercy brought you here. You, a bastard child of sin and lust. I told her not to, I don't want to be affiliated with your kind..." He looked down at his hand. It held a wooden paddle with a crucifix carved into it.
"I must beat you to rid you of sin... Do not think of this as cruelty. Someone must answer for your mother's doings, you must be purified." I nodded though I didn't know what he meant.
He told me to turn around and then he stroke me on my butt with the paddle. I held back tears for fear that I may get more. But I did anyway. After a while he told me all had been forgiven and I may rest.
He never struck me again but only at Mercy's insistence. She forbade him to touch me again after that and treated me with kindness I had never known. She also welcomed my brother after my momma had him in jail.
But she took care of me especially, the one good thing in my pathetic little life.