Mary

Chapter 1: How it all began

"Life is like that- 20 minutes of misery for every 2 seconds of joy."- V.C. Andrews

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I'm a illegitimate child. A bastard to be blunt. From the very beginning I knew I was damned to a shitty life. I was born in sunny Florida and it snowed on my birthday. God damned me to hell before I was even all the way in the world.

Most people can't remember their birth but I can. Not every thing of course but some things. I remember me hearing soft music, I remember being cleaned and I remember being put into my mother's soft gentle arms.

"Hello baby girl." she said to me. " I love you so much." she looked down into my brown eyes that looked exactly like her's,then kissed my forehead softly. I always wondered why that one time she was gentle with me and for the rest of my life with her she wasn't. Then I found out.

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My god mother was my mom's best friend. Her name was Julie and I loved her more than my own mother. Julie had a son and daughter named Wyatt and Justice. She never took them with her when she was with me though, so I never knew what they looked like. Julie had tanned skin, violet eyes and short black hair that was sometimes reddish-blonde.

She would watch me while my mom worked as a waitress at a diner across the street from our shabby apartment. A rat infested piece of shit is what it was. It was so small that the bedroom, kitchen, and living room was one place. We had a refrigerator, sink and cabinets but no stove. Mom never cooked anyway. Our bathroom was micro sized. You had to step on the toilet just to get out of the tub. Yeah the struggle was real.

But when ever Julie was there she made it seem like a million dollar pent house.

"Doll face, this place is beautiful. You could be living on the street." she says taking a puff from her Vapor.

Everyday at 7 when she left the flat went back to it's normal trashy self. One day I asked her why she always left at 7 exactly.

"Listen Doll face I gotta make a living  just like your mommy does." she answered. I asked what she meant.

"You see people like me are no good in this world. I have no college degree, barely got my GED and I broker than the beggar across the street. But good for one thing, and that's letting men see what I own. And I own up to that."

It wasn't until I got older that I understood that. You see Julie like me was a damnation, but in a different way. She was like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. A hooker. But she didn't give a yellow nor a blue fuck. In fact she was proud.

...And that was the thing that killed her.

One day after me and mom were already in bed we heard a loud bang on the door. Momma got her large butcher knife from the kitchen. Then she yanked open the door. In fell a bloody Julie. My mom got down on her knees and lifted into her lap.

"He killed her Monica. He killed her and beat me." She said in a throaty voice.

My mom started to clean her wounds.

"Who did he kill?"

Julie's eyes filled with tears," Ma baby girl, Justice."

Mama face was blank as she continued to clean her wounds. when she was done she told Julie she could stay the night.

"But tomorrow you're out of here. I don't want anything happening to my girl." Mama told her.

That night Julie slept with us. Her arms around me protectively.

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The very next day was one I'll never forget.

Julie was up after Mama left for work and she made me breakfast. Pancakes and bacon; something Mama never did.

"Re Re, go in there and wash up.Cleanliness is next to godliness, you know?" she told me.

I ran my bath water and put bubbles in it as I hummed.

And then....

Bang!

Sound made me hit my head on the tub. I didn't hesitate to crawl out the little bathroom window and run as fast as my four year old legs would carry me. I ran to y mom's jump in tears. when she saw me she immediately took me into her arms.

"What's wrong Marie? What happened?" I couldn't answer through my tears.

She took me back to the apartment. I will never forget what I saw in there. Julie's fragile body laid on the ground. A pool of blood underneath her. Even in death she looked beautiful. As if god finally had mercy and took her out of a world he knew she never belonged in.

My mom fell on her knees and laid down next to her in the pool of blood.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I didn't want you to get hurt. I never wanted you to get hurt." she cried as she caressed her face. "Please don't eave me." she whispered. Her whole body shook with her cries.

I looked away not used to seeing my mother in that weak state. I saw on the table a little note that was smeared with blood. I picked it up and brought it to my mom.

"Mommy, it says he's coming back." I tell her. She looks at the note then jumps into motion.

"Marie get your clothes put them in a bag." she orders as she changes out of her bloody clothes.

I do as she says but not before i ask why.

"Look Marie put your fucking clothes in a bag and hurry the hell up before I leave you here and you end up like Julie." she hisses.

In minutes we were both packed and in a cab headed for the airport. In the bathroom at the airport my mom cut my hair. I watched as it fell to the floor. Black curls that hung from my head to my elbow now curled around my shoulders. Then she dyed her hair the sink drying it under the hand dryer.
We left that night all the way to Chicago. Where we stayed in a motel that was much better than our apartment. I wouldn't say life had gotten better though. In fact it got worse. But like I told you before god never intended for life to be easy for me. I was Damned from the start.