Curtis

sodapop

I snapped back to reality, I wish I hadn't. I saw Darry, his whole chest and face smeared with wet blood. Soda lied there on the floor, I could see the partial remnants of his smile. His soft smile gone. Why hadn't I realized soda was this broken? Ms. Hosted grabbed my shoulders and shook me, screaming my name. She lead me outside. Away from the crying Darry. His cry broke me even more. It was loud for once. His face seemed plastic. Steve broke down even more than Darry. Steve sat on the floor and repeatedly hit his head with his fist. His heart broke, Soda was his best friend. Ms. Hosted teared up and looked at me. "I'm so sorry." I said nothing to her. I didn't want to, sorry wasn't good enough. I look at the sky, I see a setting sun, I watch my shadow fade. I was left alone, wondering how it came to this. Steve walked out of the court and bumped into me, I nearly fell to the ground. "Y-you caused this! You're a fucking-" he cried, his voice broke and he left. Ms. Hosted slowly opened her arms and held me tight. I wanted Darry to hold me but this was good enough. I held onto her tight and all my emotions left. I never cried this hard. Darry lost custody of me. He flat out said he couldn't handle me before he to left the court. "Darry wait!" I said and tried to run up to him. "Pony, please don't. I just want you to leave me alone. I'm tired, the police talked to me and I was gonna lose you anyways. Soda ruined your chance. I can't, I just can't. " I bit my bottom lip and grabbed his arm. "You look just like him. Don't lose your fight kid, I love you." Darry teared up and walked a little faster. I was left standing there, my family gone and I was alone. Ms. Hosted took me back to the boys home. I spent the next 3 n a half hours crying my eyes out to the therapist. I had abuse, more emotional then physical. I wanted to die. I wanted to die. I wanted to die. I needed to die. I will die. I kept sketching that into the wall with a knife. "Give me the damn knife, where the hell did you even get that?" Lucas asked when he walked into our shared room. "I stole it from the cafeteria." I said bitterly. He nodded and punched me, I dropped the knife and he stuck it in the wall. "I heard about your brother but I'm sorry. If you ever need a friend I'll help you. I know it's hard finding your place but suck it up. You have come this far, don't quit now, hold on. This life isn't easy, but you gotta push through." He sat on the top bunk and slowly fell alseep. Little did he know those words would never leave me. He was my hope. It brought me back to Johnny, I wasn't even 16. It isn't long enough. I had so much left to do. I'll be missing out and people will be missing me. I smiled, I don't know how or why but I did. I fell asleep to the thought of Dally holding Johnny's fragile hand, somewhere off in the country. Both so happy. For once the thought of Johnny didn't crush me.