I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
Just one cut. You'll feel better.
I woke up at two. Harry's stones shirt i was wearing was stained in blood. "shit." i got up and scurried to the bathroom. I took the shirt off and put it in the laundry. I stared at my body in the mirror. It wasn't supposed to get bad again. "When you hurt yourself your hurting harry too." louis' voice echoed through my head. If harry didn't see then it couldn't hurt him. Not that he cared anyways. He should of known it would get bad. Why wouldn't he ask me to come on tour with him? A normal person would say I was overreacting but try falling in love with a popstar. Getting tons of hate. Having no relatives and dead parents. Right now I have no one.
"Hey Addi" harry said. "Hey." It was quiet. "Lou told me to call you." he said. "I miss you." i said. "I can't wait to see your face." he laughed. "Well skype me." I didn't want him to see my cuts. "no i can't." i replied. "why?" he asked. It was quiet. "I'll come back to visit the 26th. Addie. Hang on until then." I squeezed my eyes shut. "I'm fine." I could practically see him shaking his head. "I know your lying." I tapped my fingers on the kitchen table. "Do you love me?" I asked. He answered instantly. "Of course I love you." I took a deep breath. "Then..why didn't you bask me to come on tour with you?" i asked. He was obviously surprised by the question. "I didn't think you wanted to..." he said. "You thought i'd rather sit at home all alone for 2 months than go on tour with my boyfriend?" Then he was quiet. "Babe, I know you have....trouble...with all the hate and...stuff. It's worse on tour. I wanted you to stay home. Carry on with your everyday routine." I shook my head even though he could see me. "Your my daily routine harry! Everything I do, everything i say involves you!" i screamed. "Babe, calm down.-" "Don't tell me to calm down Harry. You know what?! Your right I don't handle the hate right. I wish I had a normal life. Maybe I could get away from the hate if-" i heard harry breath in sharply. "Addison." his voice cracked. Oh my god he was crying. I got a lump in my throat. "Harry-" i started but i was interrupted. "I love you Addison. I love you more than anything in the world. okay?" he took a deep breath "Your the reason I wake up in the morning and why I have the nerve to perform. I would love to have you come on tour with me. I just want the best for you." He took another breath. "I don't want it to get bad." "It is bad." I whispered.
