Things That Piss Me Off.

People Who Can't Handle Jokes and Sarcasm

         I absolutely HATE it when people cannot handle my sarcasm.. 

          I tend to be on the more analytical side of things. My brain just thinks logically. That being said, I tend to have I witty response to almost everything. I pride myself in my clever snarky ways. It's a gift.

        I'm pretty sarcastic to say the least.

        Most of my friends accept that about me. Most of them.

       I decided to write this, however, because of one specific person in particular. For all purposes, lets call this person 'Jen'.

       Jen is a friend of mine. A very good friend, as a matter of fact; one that I've known for years. We've had our ups and our downs, but one of the things I hate about her is her inability to understand that I am a VERY VERY SARCASTIC person.

      For instance, she just got back from her vacation on the beach. She texts me: 'I have a really bad sunburn, ughh'. 

      Being the sarcastic prick I am, I text her back: 'sucks for you haha'.

       And now she's pissed at me. Am I the only one who thinks that's insane? It wasn't even that sarcastic. Yes I know sunburns suck, but what am I supposed to do about it? Offer my condolences? Cry for her? It's not like somebody died, you just have a sunburn. Get over yourself. It was a joke! 

       She sent me this huge rant back about how "rude and insensitive" I was being. I swear, I wanted to pull my hair out. I can't even comprehend her line of thinking.

Okay, for any of you Full House lovers (like myself), you know how Stephanie's 'catchphrase' during one of the seasons is "How Rude"? That's like my friends catchphrase. Anytime I'm sarcastic towards her at all, she sends back "That's rude."

       I swear that's all I ever hear her say.

       "That's rude."

      "That's rude."

      "That's rude."

     "That's rude."

     "That's rude."

     "That's rude."

     It was cute on Full House. Not so much when she does it. That's mostly because she calls things rude that aren't even rude. You know what I think is rude?

      Her attitude.

      Friends are sarcastic with each other...I don't think it's strange that that's how I responded. I rag on my friends all the time, and they rag on me back. It's one of the beauty's of friendship. 

       So she freaks out over the stupidest things. I always have to watch what I say around her, which is an incredibly annoying thing to have to do around you friends. She has all these amazing qualities that I love about her. I know I made her seem like a prick (which she is half the time) but she's also a good friend. I can't just get rid of her. 

        Which is why I' ranting, I suppose. If I don't get all the nerves out, I might scream at her the next time she tries this BS.  

       I can understand sometimes. There are situations where sarcasm is inappropriate. Most of these situations involve authority figures or strangers. If you're too sarcastic with a stranger, it can be taken the wrong way. But I've known this girl almost my entire life. Shouldn't I be able to joke around and say sarcastic stuff without being reprimanded like a child? 

      I thinks so. It's not my fault she's a hellmonkey.

     

         Another thing that bothers me is when people can't take jokes. I'm suddenly the bad guy because I made a blonde joke about my friends. Calm down! I'm a ginger, and I don't care when people say "gingers have no souls." As long as I know your joking, I'll laugh and make a joke right back about how you better watch out or I'll steal your soul. People need to calm down.

         Oh, and it's not just in real life. One of my (many) pet peeves of writing is when the main character gets all offended over a joke. All of the sudden, the main character will completely freak out over something that I think is incredibly minor. Yeah, they made a joke about you. It was a joke. That means it's not serious. Do I have to define "joke" for you?

        joke: i.e. something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him.

       Something to provoke laughter. As in it's NOT SERIOUS. Maybe I'm just really insensitive...but like who cares? Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it. More importantly, get over yourself.  

     Who cares if you're the butt of a joke? People joke about me all the time, and you know what I do? I laugh right along with them because some of those jokes down are down right hilarious.   

     When did people stop being able to laugh at themselves?
     It's sad that you're so insecure that you can't take a joke.

     Alright, well for all of you out there that can't take a joke and think this is horribly insulting: you're all idiots.

      Go to hellmonkey.