Some of the titles on here make me want to rip my hair out then stalk the authors and find them and go all hellmonkey on their asses because they're title(s) sucks.
Enough Said.
Disclaimer: All of said title examples are purely fictional and do not exist elsewhere on Wattpad. If by coincidence one of them does, please comment and/or PM me about it so I can change it. Thank you bitches!
When the titles aren't capitalized.
my mate is the alpha?
i'm in love with my neighbor
the boy next door
i met a dragon unicorn and now we're married
hellmonkeys: they do exist
What the fuck is that? Titles are meant to be capitalized! That's why it's a title! If you don't capitalize your title then it's not an actual title. It's just a fucking sentence on your book cover. It is the "distinguishing name" (to quote dictionary.com) of your story/poem/thing. Capitalizing it emphasizes it's importance! It...it's what makes it a title!
A lot of people on here are also prone to capitalizing the first word in their title and then just leaving the rest un-capitalized. This is just as bad. Don't do this either.
Point blank, if your title isn't capitalized, then I won't fucking read it.
When the titles are in ALL CAPS.
MY MATE IS THE ALPHA?
I'M IN LOVE WITH MY NEIGHBOR
THE BOY NEXT DOOR
I MET A DRAGON UNICORN AND NOW WE'RE MARRIED
HELLMONKEYS: THEY DO EXIST
A title should always be capitalized. However a title should never be ALL CAPITALIZED. First off, it kind of hurts my eyes. It just hurts. I want to look away.
I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE TRYING TO YELL AT ME THROUGH YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN. I get it, it's your story, you want people to read it. Yes all caps is attention grabbing. But not in a good way. And who likes being yelled at? Not me. If you yell at me I'll probably start crying. Are you trying to make me cry?
I'm sure your title does not need to be emphasized that much. There is such a thing as too much emphasis.
It seems very unprofessional. How many books do you see in the book store with the titles in all caps? Not many. And when you do see them, it's not because the author actually wanted it to be all caps, it's generally just because that's how the font looks.
Really hellmonkey ass long titles.
My Mate Is The Alpha Of That Pack In That Place That's At War With That Other Pack And Now They're Trying To Kill Me Because My Mate Is The Alpha?
I'm In Love With My Neighbor That Never Knew I Existed And He Has A Six Pack And Now He Notices Me And He's Really Hot And Is My New Boyfriend That I'm In Love With
The Boy Next Door Is Always Bringing Home Blonde Chicks And I Can Hear Him Having Sex With Them Through The Walls Because He's A Screamer And I Hate Him So Much But I Think I Actually Might Be Falling In Love With Him
I Met A Dragon Unicorn And Now We're Married Because It Used It's Mind Control Powers On Me To Make Me Marry It And Now I Think I'm Falling In Love With It Even Though That's Bestiality
Hellmonkeys: Hell Yes They Fucking Exist Fuckers I Didn't Just Make Them Up Or Anything And They're Not Just What I Call Those Crazy Monkeys From The Wizard Of Oz That Would Be Ridiculous
Why on Earth would you think I want to read your story if it has a long title? It's just annoying. If you can't sum up your novel in a few words, then I don't think you should be a writer. Nope. Find a new hobby.
Plus, these titles always seem to explain the whole book in the title. The point of a title is NOT to give away your whole plot line! It's to sum up your novel! You don't want to give away what happens! If I know what's going to happen, the why would I read your story? Think about it.
Titles that have excess punctuation.
My Mate Is The Alpha???!!!???!!!??!!! OMG
I'm In Love With My Neighbor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3
The Boy Next Door. !!!!!!!!!!!!!! X3 !! ;D
I Met A Dragon Unicorn And Now We're Married.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^
Hellmonkeys: They Do Exist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First off, titles don't even really have punctuation. There are slight exceptions, but you never see titles with periods at the end. They're titles, not sentences. Second of all, if you really feel the need to include a exclamation mark or question mark, one is plenty. Trust me.
And please, never ever EVER mix a question mark and an exclamation mark at the end of a sentence. You don't need both. Just choose one. Both is unacceptable.
When titles are in text talk.
OMGEEEZ Mi Mayte Iz Da Alpha
Im In Luvvvv <3 Wit Mi Naybor
Da Boyee Next Dow
I Myt A Draygon Nd A Unicorn An Now We R Marryd 4 Lyf!
H3llMunkays: Dey Do Exyst
Just...just no. Your story isn't a text. Don't write it like one. Learn fucking English.
How your titles should look:
My Mate Is The Alpha?
I'm In Love With My Neighbor
The Boy Next Door
I Met A Dragon Unicorn And Now We're Married
Hellmonkeys: They Do Exist
Hope you liked this! And sorry it took a while, I've been busy. I was skimming over some books trying to find one to read, and it was like bad titles we're gang raping me. They were everywhere. But seriously, if your title has bad grammar it's a total turn off. Your title will never get laid.
If you make titles like this:
YOU SUCK
Lyk Totes Go 2 H3llmunkay.
YOU ARE READING
Things That Piss Me Off.
RandomLots of things piss me off. So, I decided to rant about them. This is just for me to vent, mostly, but if it amuses you then that's awesome. We should be friends. I'm not really sure what else to say...
