Today's the day I'll die. I just know it. Kerstin and I practiced for the song we're going to perform everyday for the whole week, heck I even sacrificed some time for my homework in order to practice in my room. My brother kept on banging my door to tone it down saying that "I sound like a trapped walrus". His words. I don't even know how they sound like.
Anyways, as I was saying, in a few minutes Kerstin and I are gonna come up on stage and sing.
"You ready?", Kerstin asked.
"I was born ready", I joked. Just then I heard our names being called on stage.
"Let's go", Kerstin said. "Hey try not to faint, as you've said, let's just get this over with."
Up on stage, I looked at the gathered crowd. The organization rented the auditorium for this event and knowing how famous AA is, I wasn't so shocked at how packed the auditorium was. I see the AA members in the front seats and some who I bet are alumni, perhaps parents of the 'legacies'. The lights were turned off to cue the start of the song and I feel like my nerves are starting to kick in. We had our backs facing the crowd and Kerstin and I will turn around once we start our lines.
I looked left and right for the next exit. Where is it! I have to get out of here! Danger! DANGER!!!
I felt Kerstin jokingly shoved me. She might have seen me flustered a while ago. "It's gonna be alright, just let go".
The music started and I closed my eyes to feel the music, Kerstin started singing the first part of the song .
I've always been the kind of girl
That hid my own face
So afraid to tell the world
What I've got to say
But I have this dream
Right inside of me
I'm gonna let it show
It's time to let you know,to let you know
I still had my back facing the crowd but I was pumping my fists in the air just like how we practiced. I also did some "guitar-playing-rockstar-like" gestures right before the chorus started.
(Chorus:)
This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me
Now I've found who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me
It's my turn now. As I turned around to face the crowd I felt like my consciousness left me. I barely remember what was happening during our performance.
Yeah..
Do you know what it's like
To feel so in the dark?
To dream about a life
Where you're the shining star
Even though it seems
Like it's too far away
I have to believe in myself
It's the only way
This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me
Now I've found who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me
Yeah, This is me... Yeah yeah... This is me.
I just 'let go' and I was shocked that I felt a tear ran down my cheeks. WOAH! I heard claps and that's how I realized my eyes were closed the whole time. I opened them and saw that some were standing and smiled at me. I looked at Kerstin and saw that she too was smiling.
"You were good! You absolutely did not sound like how you used to be when we practiced. WHO ARE YOU? ARE YOU JENNA'S TWIN?", she laughed at me after.
I honestly have no clue what just happened and no freaking idea how to answer her.
I never did back then. But I know now. Inside me is another me. A monster who has its own consciousness.
The biggest question I have, that I still haven't found an answer to yet is, who's the real me?
