[trigger warning for anxiety/insecurity/self deprecating type of scene idk if i needed one but better be safe than sorry :)]
camila: i guess the tables have turned a bit
lauren: no camz
lauren: do you really feel like that?
camila: sometimes
lauren: :(
camila: ive had anxiety problems in the past and this tour is kind of stressful and making it all worse
lauren: babyyy
camila: no lauren
camila: i dont want you to baby me i want you to know what life is like on a daily basis for me
lauren: then tell me what its like
12:14 pm
camila sometimes i want to sleep for multiple days straight and just avoid everything
camila: but i cant because of my job
camila: i have to attend shows and concerts to be a role model
camila: sometimes i want to delete every fucking social media site because of the drama and the comments and fucking everything
camila: but i cant because i have to maintain an image
camila: sometimes i dont want to go to our own m&g's because our own fans hate me so much
camila: but i dont have a choice because im in the band and i cant avoid everything
camila: ive never let management give me credit on songs ive written for our albums because im too afraid of the criticism
camila: i try to avoid talking in interviews for the most part in case i say something that people will take out of hand
camila: i dont want to go out in public because im afraid of the attention
camila: i dont stand up for myself when management tells me to act or dress a certain way because itll be better for our image
camila: i dont look at my mentions anymore
camila: i have more followers than the other girls but what the fuck can i do about it
camila: i dont know
camila:i just have a lot of anxiety problems and i dont have the time to actually deal with them or get any help
camila: im sorry, i didnt mean to say much but it was nice to finally say something
camila: i have no idea how id respond to this if i were in your position so if you want you can just ignore it if thats what makes you comfortable
camila: sorry
2:12 pm
lauren: no its completely okay
lauren: i never wouldve thought you felt like this if you didn't say it
lauren: you just seem to literally radiate happiness all the time i'd never expect you to feel like that about all of this
lauren: is this about the song with shawn and how fans reacted or is there more to it?
camila: yeah, i wish i never went to that concert in the first place now
camila: ppl are also trying to hack me
camila: but like im struggling w accepting my sexuality throughout all of this
camila: so the amount of shit going on in my head is insane
lauren: thats understandable
lauren: have the hackers leaked anything legit?
camila: idk im trying to stay off twitter
camila: i dont want to know what everyones saying about me
lauren: okay, do you want to talk about it?
lauren: ill always be here for you so feel free to blow up my phone at 2am if you wanna vent or need someone to talk to
camila: thank you
camila: thank you for being such a good friend
lauren: thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all of this
lauren: but seriously, if you never want to mention this stuff again thats cool but if you want to vent or just talk anytime text me okay?
lauren: also, i had a counselor for a time awhile back and he was really helpful, so if you ever want contact info lemme know
camila: alright i will, thank you
camila: ive gotta go tho, interviews and such
camila: so cyaa
lauren: cya camz
***
a/n: so i wasnt gonna post this bc of all the drama going on w c getting hacked and all etc etc, but i had this written a while back so it was never my intention to hype up all this drama. if updates are slower its bc im sick of the drama going on in this fandom, i dont wanna update if im not 100% happy w what id be putting out there, just dont wanna disappoint u guys :))
on a better note !!! this is like 214 in fanfiction??? 40k reads??? 2k votes??? what am i doing??? thank u guys so much holyy shit yall are so cool
YOU ARE READING
kik ➵ camren
FanfictionIn which camren is introduced via drunk texting and Camila enjoys talking to Lauren because unlike many others, she doesn't know every single detail about Camila's life.