Anna and the French Kiss: Etienne's POV

21

Saturday is another day of wandering, food, and movies, followed by an awkward conversation in the stairwell. Followed by another night of me sleeping in another person's bed--particularly a girl's bed. Followed by hesitant touches, followed by sleep.

But Sunday morning, things change. When we wake up, I of course stretch and accidentally smack Anna in the breasts. I was completely mortified, and I could tell by the tomato red color on Anna's face that she was mortified as well. At breakfast, I was growing distant. I kept checking my phone for messages from Ellie while Anna was talking. Instead of going out again to explore the city with her, I told her I had homework to do--which I do. But everyone is coming home today and things will go back to the way they were.

Thinking about Mum constantly. Having to pretend that I don't like Anna. Being with Ellie.

While I work on Math homework, my phone begins to ring. It's Ellie.

"Hello?" I say.

"Hi, St. Clair. I'm home." Her raspy voice says quietly.

"How was your flight?"

"Fine. So, uh, do you want to maybe meet at the river?"

"Uh, sure. I'll start heading over now."

"Okay." The familiar "end click" sounds.

I put on my coat and Mum's knit hat and walk out my dorm. Mer had invited me to dinner with Josh, Rashmi, and Anna but I knew that Ellie was probably going to want to see me. It's that I don't want to see her--it's just things have been really complicated between us. Ever since everything happened with Mum. And when I met Anna.

The River Seine looks beautiful under the warm sky. It's no long a sky blue, but more of a pinkish-orange. I stare at my reflection in the river. I'm not happy anymore. The only time I was ever happy was when I was with Anna these past few days.

"St. Clair!" I turn around to see Ellie's long blonde hair and blue eyes. Her smile is bright, and I smile back without showing my teeth.

"Hey." I whisper as she hugs me. She smells of Redkin shampoo and perfume.

I feel like I should break up with her. I slept with Anna. Not slept slept, but slept. We lied next to each other and slept. It's not like we did anything, but I feel like it was still crossing some lines that shouldn't have been crossed.

"How's your mom?"

I sigh. "Do we have to talk about her? It ruins the moment."

"When I don't ask you about her, you get mad. If I do ask you about her, you get mad. What do you want from me?"

Her face looks hurt, and I immediately feel guilty. "I'm sorry. You're just trying to help but I don't think anyone can."

Someone can. Anna can.

The next few weeks are a blur. Classes pick up with the professors anxious to get to the halfway point in their lesson plans. We pull all-nighters to keep up, and we cram to prepare for their finals. Our school is really competitive. Students here take studying seriously, and the dormitory is almost as quiet as it was when they were gone for Thanksgiving.

I don't want to talk about college because my bastard of a father is trying to send me off to a college I really don't want to go to. So every time my friends bring it up I change the subject.

My mother is done with chemo, and it's her last week of external radiation. Next week when I'm home, she'll have her first internal radiation treatment. It requires a three-day hospital stay, and I'll be there for it. Finally, I can actually support her.