Anna and the French Kiss: Etienne's POV

35

I spring off of Anna. 

Our friends have found us. Josh is staring at us with his jaw at his knees, Rashmi is crossing her arms, and Meredith is crying.

"Mer!" Anna calls out, but she runs away. I'm rubbing my head in disbelief. What am I supposed to do? 

"Shite." I say. 

"Meredith." Anna moans. "Ellie." Bollocks. I forgot about my own girlfriend in the midst of all of this. My girlfriend, whom I've fallen out of love with, but am still dating. I'm still dating her and I just made out with another girl. Another girl whom I'm in love with. And my best friend has run off crying. I really am the worst person in the entire world. 

I jump to my feet. I race after Meredith, shouting her name. I have to make this right with her. She's been my best friend since we were fifteen. I run through a mound of trees. Damn it, she's fast. Didn't she just finish her match? How does she still have this much stamina? 

She finally tires out and I grab her wrist so she doesn't run away again. She swings around and pulls her hand away, completely exasperated. I've never seen this face on Meredith. It's full of heartbreak and resentment.

"Meredith..." I sigh. 

"Don't! Don't St. Clair." 

"I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say to you other than the fact that I am deeply, and utterly sorry." I stare at the pavement. 

"I've had feelings for you since we first met." She's hysterical. "I-I-I thought that maybe I had a chance with you but then you started dating Ellie. I was okay with-with being your best friend." 

"I know." 

She continues. "But then Anna came to SOAP, and you completely a-a-abandoned me. I had to watch you choose someone else yet again. How do you think that makes me feel?" 

I don't know what to say. "I'm sorry. I have to talk to Ellie and make things right-" 

"There you go again St. Clair! I'm trying to tell you how I feel and you're thinking about somebody else. I've always been the second choice for you, and now I'm the third. I'm leaving." She stalks off angrily, but I don't follow this time. Nothing I can say will make her feel better right now. 

It seems that the more I try to explain myself, the angrier everybody gets. I have to go to Ellie's. I have to break up with her. This has gone on far too long. It's been falling apart for ages now, but neither of us have the strength to just end this. I don't know why we've continued this. 

I do know one thing. I love Anna. I love her more than I've ever loved Ellie. Ellie is comfortable, and she's made me happy for so long. Anna is captivating. When I'm with her sometimes I find it difficult to breathe. She's someone that I never want to let go. 

When I arrive at Ellie's, she's surprised to see me. Her roommate is not there, which makes things easier. 

"Is everything okay?" She asks. 

"I needed to speak with you." 

She sits on the foot of her bed, worried. "What is it?" 

I sit down next to her and take her hand. "I love you, you know that? You are my first love. You are my first serious relationship, and you've taught me so much." 

"You're breaking up with me, aren't you?" She asks.

"How did you know?" I'm expecting her to blow up. I'm expecting her to scream in my face and tell me that I'm making a mistake. To tell me that I'm giving up on a relationship that has lasted for so long, but she doesn't. 

"It's been coming for a long time. I'm not happy, and you're not happy either. We've both changed this last year." 

I'm in disbelief. "You're not angry with me, then?" 

She gives me a reassuring smile. "I'll always love you St. Clair. There's no use in fighting for a relationship that's at its last breath is there?" 

"There isn't." 

She pulls me in for a hug. I close my eyes. My heart aches. Not because I'm sad, but because of the weight that has been on my chest since September. Since I met Anna. 

Ellie and I say our goodbyes, and we wish each other the best of luck. 

My walk home to the residence hall is both peaceful and dreadful at the same time, which is impossible. Rashmi and Josh are surely upset with my poor decision-making, and Meredith is clearly not going to be speaking to me I suppose. I also can't forget that I made out with my best friend and then ran off without saying a word to her.  

I really am the worst. 

I enter the lobby afraid of who I'm going to see. There's a crowd of people sitting at the couches, and Amanda is in the center with the imaginary microphone. I get closer to have a listen. 

"She literally attacked me for no reason," she goes on. Everyone is captivated by her story-telling. "The girl was dry-heaving in the bathroom and holding up the line. When I made a comment about it she punched me right in the nose." 

Who is she talking about? The crowd around her buzzes about the situation. This surely is just another idiotic story for her to get more attention, despite the fact that she has more than enough spotlight. I start to walk towards the elevator.

"Anna is lucky that she didn't break my nose, otherwise my father would be pressing charges."

What? What did she say? Did she just say Anna?

I whip around and chime in through the crowd. "What bollocks are you spreading now, Amanda?" 

"St. Clair! So happy for you to join us. Your little girlfriend started a fight with me for no reason. What did you do to her? She's taking her anger out on everyone." 

Anna got into a fight with Amanda? Did she get into trouble with the school? I have to talk to her. I have to listen to her side of the story. Amanda is great at telling lies, she always has been. What does she mean Anna is angry? I'm terrified that she's angry with me. It's because I ran off after we were caught kissing, isn't it.

I have to speak to her, now.