I wrote this one day
Maybe I'll write like this everyday
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I may love you as a bit more than a friend
I may love you as way more than a friend
I may love you as a friend
I know I love you, or I think I do
It's very complicated
Sometimes I want to say I love you
Just when we're talking
I feel like I need to say it
I don't know what I mean with it
I don't know what it means
All I know is that I have the need to tell you sometimes
And I don't
Because who wants to hear that time and again
From someone you don't love
Who wants to be that person that does that
I certainly do not
But sometimes I can't help it
I just really want to say it
So I think about saying it
And how the conversation will stop
Become awkward
Maybe for a minute
Maybe for a day
Maybe for a week
But what if I keep saying it
Will it stop being awkward?
Will it be part of our routine?
Will the conversation not stop anymore?
Will you ignore it?
I don't want to find out
So I don't tell you
And I know I'll probably show you this
When I'm weak
Or when I'm strong enough to handle it
Or when everything gets so bad I don't care anymore
I hope it's not the latter
But it may be
Ask me which one it is
Hug me if I'm weak
Hug me if I'm strong
Hug me if I don't care
Because I know
When I show you this
I will need a hug
But maybe
I won't show you
And I'm just writing this
And you will never read it
Maybe life will get better
Maybe
Sometimes I think
About what it would be like
If you did like me
I always feel so stupid
Because I don't want it to happen
So why even think it?
I just wonder how life would be
I don't want it to actually happen
I hope I won't show you this
Because it is ridiculous
I also hope I do show you
One day
Just so you'll know
My thoughts and feelings
But honestly fuck that
Fuck feelings and emotions and complicated stuff
I want our friendship to be how it is right now
How it is right this second
Just making jokes and talking a lot
That's what makes me happy
YOU ARE READING
Poems To Him
PoetryI once loved this boy, the feelings were intoxicating. It took over. I was being tortured by this unrequited love I felt for almost two years. This is my journey of figuring out how to live with it. "Summary": Hurt me, beat me, with the violence of...
