black winged angels // pj

four

Misery
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"And no one even wondered why I crossed the street without looking both ways

I think I was in denial. It wouldn't be surprising. It's the human mind and it's stupid. Someone talks to you and all of a sudden they're superman, they're gonna save you and you just soak it all up, blinded by the sheer optimism of a sliver of sun.

It's bullshit

-<>-<>-<>-

I was angry and hurting and overall a mess, and there was no music I could find that expressed it enough.

I was no longer 8 years old, and finding songs with as many swear words as possible gave me power, and I could scream that out and feel superior, although only when my parents weren't home.

Then again, Luke and Thalia were still around at that time.

I tried to get this thought out of my mind but as usual, my brain did not listen.

I always think of this thing my mother always used to say before she left whenever I asked her why my brain hates me so much.

Every time, Mother would look at me and ask me, "Don't imagine a butterfly".

And every time, I would imagine a fragile but strong monarch, in shades of vibrant orange and dark black, pranced hesitantly on the edge of a branch. And as its wings spread out, the black envelops the rest of the sky and everything else surrounding it. Although it looks sweet, it's as dark as any other being.

It's like a black winged angel.

-<>-<>-<>-

Your favourite mess here did show up to school for a reason, and didn't skip. It's probably because my house is sometimes worse than school. At least people realize I exist at school. Even if I exist as a punching bag.

I went to my locker, tried to appreciate the beauty of the death notes on the door. If you made your eyes go out of focus, you could possibly imagine it was sweet notes your friends wrote for you.

But they weren't. The happiest ones said something like "You're a loser." Which I appreciated. I mean, at least it didn't say "You ***** and ****** yea ***** **** *****. And since those just made me sad for the guys writing it, because they probably had lots of fake friends telling them that would be the coolest thing ever.

I reminded myself of this a lot, when I got extra sad. That although I had no friends, at least I didn't have fake friends.

So, school. The bell rang, which sounded like a super serious business man's ringtone because it can't have any emotion in it whatsoever. It was just like a BAM BAM BAM BAM.

It was scary, okay?

Then biology rolled around, and I was feeling emotions because Percy was in that class and he talked to me but he was on the football team and had cool friends but he talked to me but he ignores me but he talked to me-

I'm rambling.

I did not feel emotions for that long though, because I shut them and did not think about them.

Mr. Carpenter then assigned a project, studying an animal, but not your average 'an elephant is grey and has tusks and there is an Asian and an African elephant and they are my favourite animal.'

And of course, it was a partner project. And now, no this is not a fictional novel made up to entertain your valued souls, so he did not assign us partners.

"For this project we are going to pick partners!" Mr. Carpenter said, with a little bit too much enthusiasm.

So here I was, rolling my eyes, getting ready to work with the other person in the class who nobody wanted, until Mr. Carpenter looked at me and said

"Annabeth! You never get a partner. Why don't you pick first?"

Laughter. Wide eyes. Perfect timed shaking in my right leg.

"C'mon Annabeth. I'm sure everyone would be happy to be your partner."

More laughter.

"Percy." I blurted out, surprised at myself and wanting to run away forever, to get an early start on leaving this town and never coming back.

Everyone had very wide eyes.

"Alright, Jackson! You can go and sit with Chase at her oh so unfortunate table." Mr. Carpenter concluded.

I looked down, trying to cool down my burning face. I found sharpie hate notes already appearing on my table.

Percy came over and sat next to me.

"So, biology huh? What animal are you thinking." He said, I think. I was in lots of shock at the time.

"Elephant." I responded, quick and monotone.

"Sounds like a plan."

I think Percy continued talking, but I was not listening to anything or anyone. Just trying to understand life. Which I do not recommend. It's not easy.

The bell rang, the prison, businessy, scary bell. I did not realize I was staring at the floor for that long.

"Annabeth, right?" Percy asked

I nodded, probably too quickly and too violently.

"You should wear your hair down more often."

And then mystery man left, probably off to practice some cool sport with his cool friends.

I didn't think life could get more confusing. It did.

Here's to another chapter! Sorry I took so long, and especially because I did finish this chapter, wattpad just didn't save it so I had to retry. I know it ended funnily, but important details are for the next day, which I didn't want to put in this chapter. Also, on a personal note, it was my birthday two days ago! As always, thanks for reading

-Maeve 🌌

EDITED: I think I accidentally published this with like, 80 words so sorry! It's a bit too short but there is literally nothing else I can add. I'm 2/3 done with the next chapter, so regular programming should be coming very soon. Thanks for standing by, and thanks to all the people who recently voted.

Peace (again)

-Maeve ;)