Destined

Secrets

Ko's POV

I sat up straight, gasping for air.

The recollections of my past are never pleasant.

In the darkness of the night, I still can see the little brown fox dangling from my bag, sitting in the corner of my room.

I really need to sleep.

Adjusting myself such that I could relax into my bed more, darkness slowly claimed me once again.

I'm sorry, Kouji.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The very next day, I'm back in office, half dead with my head resting in my anatomy book.

How the hell am I supposed to remember all the bones of the damn body?

This Christmas, I'm wishing for osmosis to take place between the book and my brain.

"Take five, boys!" I hear Coach Brian shout, and the monkeys tumble out of the rink, reaching for their bottles. They all seem dead tired, with competitions approaching, but Yuzuru seems more dead than the rest.

I wonder if Brian knows about his asthma...

Brian walks over to the office, mumbling a good morning to me. He's been really overworked as well. He's had to dart back and forth between the boys, setting up the music for their programmes, then running through the elements with them.

If these crazy monkeys don't get a good rest after this competition, they're gonna collapse, I swear.

"Hey Ko, have you seen the documents for the competition on Saturday?" He asks, while poking around the corners of the office.

"Umm, I saw it a few days ago, in a grey file," I reply slowly, shifting my stuff around. How embarrassing, I leave my stuff like this, in a heap? Koharu, you messy octopus.

I hear the distant laughter of Javi and Yuzuru, and remember.

"Brian, does Yuzuru have any medical history?" I ask, albeit curious. He stops, and ponders. "Not that I know of. Why?" He asks, while he checks through a stack of papers.

"Oh, it's nothing," I mumble, checking the small drawer beside the computer.

"Ah, found it. Thanks a lot, Koala!" He pats my on my back, and dashes out again.

Brian knows my full name, from the job application I sent in, and he often teases me about it. Boys.

Swinging around in my chair, staring at the cranium of little Bob (my toy skeleton), I hum Kouji's favorite song. He really loved that song, and he would play it on our grandmother's piano all day long. But he played it really well, we never got tired of his playing.

I guess I'll to continue playing for him.

I head out for some coffee, Nam mentioned this new cafe two blocks away. He went with this Team USA girl yesterday, probably for the cute girl, not the coffee.

Just as I step out with my coat, I hear soft coughing from the locker rooms. I approach slowly, with a rough idea of who it might be.

Through the crack in the door, I see him, coughing and wheezing a little, searching in his bag.

I push open the door, creaking slightly. He turns around quickly, hiding something behind his bag. I already know what that is.

He tries concealing the fact that he's gasping for air, the slight whistle in his gasps and the suppressed coughs, waiting to burst from his lungs. His face is sweaty and pale, his dark Asian hair sticking to his forehead.

Part of me wants to reveal his secret to Brian, and question him. Why would you want to hide something like that? What if Brian didn't know, and what if you collapsed? I don't want to see another person collapse and leave me.

But I know he probably has his own reasons.

"Are you okay?" I try asking, still hanging awkwardly in the doorway. He nods, and chokes out the words "Okay... Just... Tired"

He's probably hoping for me to go away. Trying to slow your breathing and suppress your coughing probably sucks. He can't hold on for much longer.

"I know you have asthma" nearly rolls from my tongue, but I pinch myself.

I'll give you another chance.

"You sure? You look awfully...tired." I try again.

He shifts uncomfortably, his hand jerking behind him. He probably wants to use his inhaler right now.

He nods again.

I squeeze out a forced smile, and leave.

I guess everyone has their own secrets.