Randomness

Convo with my BFF

BFF: My bed left me and everything...now we cant sleep together anymore cuz it left me.

Me: Awww i sowwy

BFF: oh well...

Me: You can come over and borrow mine. It hasn't left yet.

BFF: No that's ok. U need to sleep with someone that's not a poopface.

Me: Though mine is comfy to sleep on and all, yea it's a jerk right now.

BFF: What's it doing?? Making u wake up on the wrong side???

Me: Yes. And it's not adjusting so that I don't wake up on the wrong side.

BFF: Rude! Maybe its mad that ur destined for greatness.

Me: But then it should help me, not hurt me. Because then i'm gonna give it away.

BFF: But it LOVES youuuuuu!!!

Me: lol. I'm not so sure about that. It keeps making me wake up on the wrong side.

BFF: bc it doesnt want to lose u.

Me: That makes no sense! If it doesn't want me to give it away than it should be comfy and cozy and not make me wake up on the wrong side as much.

BFF: But its trying to keep u from being successful and want a better one.

Me: ugh thats silly. It could be a cot and I would keep it if it were comfy.

BFF: Well sometimes they have some messed up logic.

Me: No kidding. I just want a bed that I can keep for a long long time. That's all.

BFF: Right?? How can the one u sleep with be so rude???

Me: (The one you sleep with. Oh that sounds bad) and idk, maybe it doesn't know that anything is wrong.

BFF: True. Maybe u need to have a dtr (define the relationship) with it too

Me: XP You should see what I wrote

BFF: Whattttttt did u writteeeeeee

Me: "My bed. It was so comfy and cozy, but it was a jerk. I kept waking up on the wrong side each morning and the bed wouldnt adjust, nor did it notice anything was wrong. Though, I was told it loves me and it didnt want to lose me because it was trying to keep me from being successful and looking for another bed. But that doesn't make sense, if it were comfy and cozy and nice, it could have been a cot and I wouldnt have cared. I would have kept and cherished it."

BFF: ....if anyone else read our convos. just picture their faces.

Me: lolol what if the bed actually read it....

BFF: Omg all ur problems would b fixed!!!!

Me: oh god no. it would probably make it even worst htan before. it would literally throw me on the floor at nights. (maybe)

BFF: .....well thats just rude

Me: And that kinda came out wrong too.....

BFF: lolol now its just trying to teach you a lesson

Me: The bed???

BFF: yup. I wrote lesson and it almost auto corrected to lesbian. "The bed almost taught u a lesbian"

Me: wait, soo the bed is gay or am i then? Both probs

BFF: Woah u got something to tell me???? I mean lesbihonest here

Me: LOL. well I do have you as my gf and (other BFF) as my lover soooo

BFF: truuuuu we did go to hoco together.......

Me: ......Is it bad that I want to curl up and fall asleep on my bed?

BFF: ooh sounds like it;s getting serious between u 2

Me: Nooo. its not like its taught me a lesson or lesbian yet

BFF: Sleep well. Both of u. Together.

Me: Not Funny!!!!

BFF: u love me

Me: grrrrr i know i do. But my bed is a jerk so it can go outside for all i care.

BFF: ok then u and the 2 bean bags. they gonna sandwich u.

Me: ooohhhh fricking.....mind in the gutter. Not good.

BFF: isnt that the point??

Me: kinda. But you didnt need to say it

BFF: too late

Me: lol. and this is why you are the undercover perv.