Homestuck One-Shots

Genie Jade

Terezi and Genie!Jade

I was Terezi in this one. Thoughts?

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Sent to Terezi's home recently was a strange golden lamp. Well, it clearly didn't look like a lamp by modern standards, but the troll could clearly tell it was the type that genies on TV came out of. But those don't exist do they? The package didn't have a return address, so it seemed it was sent by an anonymous donor for her to do what she wished with it. 

Terezi was just looking at the lamp in confusion, "WHO S3NT M3 TH1S TH1NG?!" She huffed and started to rub some dust off of it, "1TS F1LTHY TOO..." 

After Terezi rubbed it a bit, the lamp shook and began to expel gas out from the spout, shrouding the room she was in completely. Terezi immediately dropped said lamp and backed up, "WH4T TH3?!"

"oooooooooooh...," A deep voice bellowed out from the gas, "imfreeeeeeeeeeeee..." A silhouette emerged in front of Terezi, though with all the gas around it probably would've been hard for her to smell it. 

The troll frowned, now even further hindered by her eyesight, or lack thereof. She tried to lick the creature to find out where (and what) it was, but found her tongue passing through the silhouette. She began to wonder if there really wasn't anything there except this stupid gas and the voice. Maybe someone was playing a prank on her? "TH1S 1SNT FUNNY."

" hee hee, that tickles!" The gas suddenly dispersed, as if something had simply waved it away. And that's because something did! A young woman dressed as a genie, complete with a whispy tail from the waist down, appeared before Terezi, "well its a good thing this is no joke! i must ask... are you my master?"

Terezi faced where the voice came from and tried to smell where the creature was, but couldn't. She frowned, "1 DONT KNOW. 1 RUBB3D 4 L4MP, WHO3V3R YOU 4R3. 1 C4NT SM3LL YOU B3C4US3 OF 4LL OF TH3 FOG. 4ND 1 C4NT S33 YOU 31TH3R S1NC3 1M BL1ND."

"oh! sorry lemme take care of that!" Jade apologized. She snapped her fingers and dispersed the fog immediately, rendering Terezi's senses free to take in the sight of the girl. 

Terezi sniffed the air again and walked over to her, " 4R3 YOU ON3 OF THOS3 4L13N HUM4NS? YOU SM3LL L1K3 ON3 OF TH3M."

Jade shook her head, "mm... not anymore! im a genie with mystical powers! ...that you can only access through three wishes"

"W1SH3S? 4S 1N... HUM4N G3N13S GR4NT HUM4NS THR33 W1SH3S?" Why wasn't it a troll genie then?! This was useless-

"well, more just anybody who can talk back and rubbed the lamp," Jade said. Oh.

"SO 1 G3T THR33 W1SH3S TH3N? M3?"

"mmhm!"

"OH." Terezi blinked, thinking. "WH3N DO 1 M4K3 TH3M?"

"anytime you like! it could be now it could be tomorrow or could be a whole long time...no rush!" Jade smiled. "you only get three though so make em count!"

"WH4T H4PP3NS 4FT3R? 4FT3R 1 M4K3 4LL THR33?" Terezi faced the creature again.

"i go back to my lamp. i wont be able to come back out for you anymore but if you gave it to someone else they could use me instead c:"

Terezi thought- oh wait. This thing could fall into the hands of someone unlawful! So then... "WH4T H4PP3NS 1F SOM3ON3 B4D US3S YOU TH3N..."

"nnnn... shit happens :(" Jade said sadly.

"OH. W3LL 1 KNOW OF ON3 W1SH 1 W4NT R1GHT NOW, BUT 1 DONT KNOW WH4T 1 WOULD M4K3 TH3 OTH3R TWO..." Terezi's voice trailed off. Did she really want to do this? 

"its fine! like i said no rush"

"W3LL..." Eh, why not. "1 W1SH 1 W4SNT BL1ND 4NYMOR3 4ND TH4T 1 COULD S33 4G41N... BUT 1 DONT KNOW WH4T 3LS3 TO W1SH FOR."

"take all the time you need master and ill cook you up 100% sight again!"

"R34LLY?" 

Jade clapped her hands and rubbed them together, generating magic sparks. Then she reels up, as if she's about to throw it right at her... only to just snap her fingers. Terezi's vision restores! "just like that!" 

Terezi slowly took off her glasses and looked at the genie, who waved hello with a smile. She looked around the room, taking the sight in. "WOW... 1 H4D FORGOTT3N WH4T 1T W4S L1K3 TO S33..." She turned back to the genie and waved back.

"and now you can see it all properly again! youre welcome c:" Jade smiled, and Terezi rubbed her eyes, then looked at her again. 

"NOW WH4T?"

"mm... ill be on standby for the time being. you just call me up when you need something; im contracted to oblige your every wish :P!" Jade floated towards Terezi, "and that includes non-magical ones!"

"WH4T DO YOU M34N BY "NON-M4G1C4L" ON3S?" The troll asked.

"anything you want, ill do it for you!" She paused as she thought of an example, "like... if you wanted a sandwich: boop!" The genie snapped her fingers and poofed a sandwich for her, "no problem!"

"BUT 1T WOULD US3 UP ON3 OF MY W1SH3S WOULDNT 1T," Terezi said. Wouldn't that defeat the purpose? She didn't want to use up all her wishes that way; it'd be really stupid!

"naaaaaah, not unless you straight up say "i wish" blah blah blah," Jade said. Terezi was about to say something else, but she heard voices calling for her. Dave? Karkat? It was definitely a guy. She was already starting to regret getting her eyesight back. "are those your friends? :o" 

Terezi put her glasses back on and picked up the lamp, "Y34H. SO 1 C4N US3 TH1S TO BR1NG YOU B4CK, R1GHT?"

"mmhm! ill be in there if im not out here," Jade said. 

"OK4Y." Terezi held the lamp close as her friends' voices got louder, "1 GOT TO GO." And with that, she ran off with the lamp. 

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LOL These are just like random one-shots aren't they XD