Friend Or Foe?

Him

He was there. It wasn't anything significant because he was always there. But I just loved to pretend that he was there for me, which was stupid because he didn't know me and I didn't know him.

Him.

What is the name of the guy that has me doing all sorts of things that is so unlike me. He's always at the park reading then crosses the road to the café to get a chocolate doughnut and a chocolate milkshake and write in a black book with beautiful embroidery. Chocolate, the same colour as his hair. He always sat at the same window seat as the sunlight reflected into his hazel eyes as he stared deeply into his book.

A storm was coming and I knew exactly why. I had to depart for my own safety and the safety of everyone around me. This was always the difficult part of the day, but knowing that he would be here tomorrow without fail brought me some inner comfort.

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Another day at school. School just seemed to get worse and worse each day I was here. It wasn't fair. The others didn't have to endure this pain and suffering but mother said joining a normal public school would be for the best and that it would lead them off my tracks because she was afraid I was next. She said that I wouldn't have to go through this for long, as soon as they could find someone to teach me how to control myself, I would be out of here in no time, but it felt as if I had been here forever. I didn't bother making any friends because it was pointless if I would leave soon and these people aren't as fun as my friends back at home.

As normal, I found the loneliest table that were as far away as possible from any of my fellow class mates. I didn't want to interact with them. At first I did try to fit in but everyone just got on my nerves so I just gave up and stayed alone. I preferred it that way anyway. It gave me time to think, time to remember him, time count down the hours, minutes and seconds before I could see him again. Time. But mostly time before the teacher would yell at me to pay attention to the class in which I had no interest in.

I didn't want to think about him as it was betrayal to the one in my future. He couldn't be the one even if I wanted him to. He's not like me, I would have sensed it already. It was all so wrong to think about him in my current situation, yet it felt all so right. A part of me said don't let him go, but another said you have to. The part that said to let him go was right, there was no space for him in my future and I had to think of what the others would say. I had to focus on getting my life sorted out. A fifteen year old girl didn't have space to think about this stuff, love was the last thing I needed to think about but he never left my memory. How could a stranger who I had never even spoken to have such an impact on me. I knew that to stop this I would have to stop "stalking him" but there was a strong urge to always go to see him in which I could never control and I hated myself for the fact that I was so weak and couldn't keep emotions intact, my emotions.

As if on cue my thoughts were interrupted, but instead of the usual "Are you paying attention" quote, he said different words that intrigued me deeply. The class was full and there was only one space left which was next to me. My hair was covering my eyes so I didn't see the person properly. I didn't want to make eye contact. But the same urge that dragged me to the park was compelling me to look up. I saw a figure coming towards me. My plans to fix my life were over. It was him.