Old Places, New People || Phan

6-Phil's P.O.V

Darkness. Darkness enveloped me like a blanket, but yet suffocated me. I was fighting, desperate to get myself out of this hell. I fought, kicking and screaming. I yelled out Dan's name, reaching for him. When I reached out, I felt something solid. My eyelids flew open, the brightness of the sunlight momentarily blinding me. "Phil? Phil, wake up!" Someone was shaking me, gently, yet desperately. My eyes adjusted to the light, and I saw that I was face to face with the beautiful brown haired boy again. I couldn't help noticing how the sunlight gave his tan skin a warm glow, and his lips were a soft pale pink. His dark chocolate eyes gazed into mine, worry and love within. No, shut up Phil! You literally just met him like 3 days ago! Stop doing this you idiot! I groaned, rubbing my face to rid my mind of my inner voices. "Dan, what's wrong?" My voice came out as a raspy croak. "Y-You were screaming. I was scared..." He trailed off, loosely wrapping his arms around my neck. Maybe he does like you after all. I shook my head a bit, squeezing my eyes shut tight. SHUT UP! HE WILL NEVER LOVE YOU! Then a voice interrupted my voices. "Phil, what's wrong?" I opened my eyes and looked into Dan's face. He half-smiled at me and wiped a tear away from my face. You're crying? What a pathetic loser. You don't deserve Dan. I smiled up at Dan, holding back my flood of tears. All of a sudden, it was like time slowed down. I saw Dan leaning towards me, his eyes slowly closing, his pale lips parting slightly. He was moving closer with every second, a smile growing on his face. You don't deserve him. I cleared my throat, turning my head to the side. I felt Dan lean back into his chair, no longer hovering over me. I snuck a quick glance at Dan, my heart shattering into pieces at the hurt in his eyes. He stared at the ground, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. I felt myself beginning to tear up, and something inside of me just wanted to comfort him. I reached out to take his hand, but he moved it away. Way to go idiot, the guy you like just tried to kiss you, but you turned him down and bruised his pride. YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM! Before my voices could respond with another scathing remark, PJ popped in the doorway. I attempted to smile at him, hoping it was convincing. "Hey darlings, this is Chris." Another boy, a bit older than us, stepped into the room. He swept his brown fringe out of his eyes and smiled at us. "I'm guessing the one in the bed is Phil, right?" Chris had a heavy northern accent. I nodded at him as PJ said, "Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner!" Chris moved forward and pulled the covers off of my chest. My instinct was to grab Dan's hand, but I drew back my hand, reliving the moment where I had rejected him. You don't deserve him. Chris whistled at the purpley-green bruises covering my chest. He then placed a hand on my chest, moving it around and pushing in some areas. I winced, gripping the bed tight instead of the chocolate haired boy beside me. After awhile, Chris spoke. "It seems that you've bruised most of your ribs, and cracked 2 of them, but you didn't break them. I just need to bandage you up, and you'll be fine." Chris smiled at me. "Peej, can you get into my bag and grab out my cloth bandages and medical tape?" PJ handed Chris the items, a small smile on his face. Chris instructed me to lift my arms up, so I did. "Dan, can you grab the other end of the bandage? We're going to have to wrap it around him." I gulped silently, my muscles freezing. All of a sudden, hands came from behind and wrapped around me. I smiled as I realised that they were Dan's softly tanned arms. But then Dan drew away, and I realised that he was just handing the bandage to Chris, and I was in his way. You were, and always will be in his way. You don't deserve him. I held back my tears as they tightly wrapped the bandage around me and secured it with medical tape. Chris stepped back to admire his handiwork, and then turned his face up to talk to PJ. "He just needs to get home, and get some rest. Lord knows his mother's worried sick looking for him." I gulped, internally smacking myself. "Phil, where do you live?" PJ asked me. I began to answer, but Dan did for me. "It's the big scary house a few blocks down, the one that's been vacant for a long time." PJ nodded. "Okay, let's help him gather his things and get him up." PJ and Dan gathered what little I had and slowly lifted me off the bed. Once I got to an upright position, I pulled my grimy shirt back on. The feeling of Dan's arm around me was setting off fireworks in my brain, but I attempted to shut down my feelings. You don't deserve him. They helped me out of the house, and we walked all the way back to my house. By the time we reached the iron gates, I was exhausted, my legs numb and my torso aching. I sluggishly entered the code into the keypad, and we climbed the pathway to the house. Dan rang the doorbell, and after a few moments, my mum answered the door. I stood on my own and smiled, hoping I didn't look like I was just beat up by a gang of idiots. My mum began to cry, pulling me into a bone crushing hug. She then turned to Dan and hugged him too. PJ had quietly left after we rang the doorbell. He didn't feel like being smothered. She led us inside, and Dan and I quickly slipped away and into my room. Dan hadn't spoken to me since this morning, and I felt terribly guilty. "Dan, I-I-" He held up a finger to stop me. "It's okay Phil, it was stupid of me, I'm sorry. Now you need rest." Before I could say anything, Dan had lowered me into the bed. The last thing I felt was Dan's hand clasped around mine, until unconsciousness took me.
***
I woke to the sound of screaming. It was me. I quickly stopped, for fear of my mum hearing me. I reached out for Dan, only to find empty space. I opened my eyes to see an empty room. Dan wasn't here. I carefully got up and traipsed around the house, looking for the brown-haired boy. I finally came back to my room, and noticed something. Dan's backpack was gone. The clothes I had leant him were lying in a neatly stacked pile on the floor. I was about to turn away, bile rising to my throat, when something caught my eye. My lion was in the corner of the room, Dan's blue blanket still draped around him. I picked up my lion to see a folded piece of paper beneath him. I shakily opened the paper, the scrawled letters forming words.

Phil,
Thank you for everything you've done. I was a near stranger, and yet you took me in. I can't thank you enough for letting me stay with you in your home, and now I'm going to pick up my things from my house and move in with my friend Charlie. I'll call you. (I got your number from your mum) Bye :)
-Dan

Bile churned in my stomach, threatening to rise to my throat. The voices began to speak to me, but I quickly blocked them out. Tears spilled down my cheeks, dampening the note. I clutched the blue blanket and rocked on my heels.
He was gone.
My Danny was gone.