The Other Side (Levi X Reader)

13

Dear Levi,

I don't know why I'm so disappointed at the fact I might not go back to being and doing what I did before when I know exactly how I'm going to be treated.

They will give me dirty looks and act as if I am not there, gossiping about everything.

Because you see Levi, making a couple of mistakes is the perfect excuse for making someone's life a living hell. We've all done it.

Although it doesn't really make sense, since you've started to make me feel like you're part of that group. You aren't, right? If you were, I'm sure you'd visit to make fun of me. That's why you're not here. Isn't it?

Either way, it still hurts me.

And I'm not saying that you have ever chosen to hurt someone for the wrong reasons in the first place. But why me? Why're you ignoring me?

That doesn't matter.

My doctor and I had a long discussion today about why I wasn't get better.

And then the doctor made a new plan for me to get better. One that he said will work this time.

To be honest I think he's just sick of me staying at the hospital and is only trying to get rid of me.

And I know I should want to leave. I really do but I can't help it sometimes.

I asked if I had gotten better at all. In fact, I've gotten even worse. That's when the doctor had it. He started telling me that I must be doing something to hinder the progress. That I must be doing something behind their back.

Because the last plan was supposed to work, but it didn't.

I didn't tell him that a lot of things are like that. You expect something great and then you get the opposite (like loving you).

And then he told me that I had to talk to a therapist if I wanted to get better.
I refused.

Because I don't want to get better, or unload my nonexistent problems on someone who doesn't even care.

It's funny though, since I'm doing just that by writing to you but I guess you're different Levi. You always were.

Wish me luck,
(Y/N)

-

Dear Levi,

I know it's extremely odd that I'm writing to you more than once today, but I think at have a valid reason for it. Its about you, actually. I'm sure you already know but writing it you will make me feel better about myself. I sort of hope that you feel bad about yourself, but that'd not be the sort of thing I hope about, is it?

I hope for my life to be spent with you, my days and not in a hospital room, not to be counting down to my death and of course for freedom from this prison under lock and key all of humanity has been put under. You already know.

But, the thing is... I don't think I believe in love anymore.

Because believing in love is a lot like believing in God. Under certain circumstances, you might believe in love or God more than anything in the world. I doubt many people in our cruel world believes in God anymore, after experiencing all that we have.

But sometimes you might start doubting if love even exist, just like with God. I'm sure many of us have - maybe even all of us.

And you see Levi, you're a mystery to me. Just like you called me a mystery the first time we met.

Because sometimes you are the one to make me believe in love more than ever.

Other times you are the reason I think love is some extinct emotion.

Like today.

Hanji told me, she told me everything. She found out and know she has forced my old, rubbishy therapist to get the hell out. That old hag did nothing to help. Now Hanji is my replacement therapist.

I don't think any of this has helped though.

I'm still hurt, angry, depressed and downright frustrated at the news I was given.

Because as the days pass I keep thinking of how many times I've hoped that it was you knocking on the door to see me. Or how you promised me you'd wait but you can't bare to even be in my presence.

And that's sad.

Because the Levi I knew used to keep his promises. But I guess I don't know who you are anymore Levi.

Love (?),
(Y/N)

P.S. I'd you've read these, then I know Hanji did as I asked and delivered them to you. And I'd just like to say that I'm sorry, even if it is you who has done wrong.