Suffocating

Chapter 3

March 24, 2015
I'm on the way to my psychiatrist office, well I guess it is your office. I have been at there school for a month. The kid that I thought was nice turns out the be nice. Who would have known. I can't talk to him still. Every time I open my mouth I feel like I'm being suffocated. I can wright notes though. Which is an improvement. But there's a problem. I try to push him away but it doesn't work. I answer as short as I can but it doesn't mater. There is a reason that I do this. It isn't that I don't like him. I do he is nice and him actually being my friend would be great. I man he stands up for me when other kids bullied me. But anyone who gets to close to me gets hurt, or self destructs. My dad, my best friend. Then look at my mom, she is on the brink of alcoholism. Trying to keep people out is hard, however my condition helps with that. I can't get away because my mom will be hurt more is she is too close to me. We talked about perspective in literacy today. They said that every persons perspective is different. Like in this book called The Secret Garden. There's this caretaker that is has of like 14 children and they don't always have enough money but she is as happy and content as can be. The same thing was in Little women. Though right now from my perspective, the world looks bleak. Like a black void with no real escape. Most of the time it mostly like something so pretty that you can look at but not touch. Something that I can not be apart of no matter hard I try. I guess I'm not made out of the same stuff as those characters. One wish I have is that I wasn't like poison, then maybe my dad would be alive and my best friend would be with me and my mom wouldn't drink and would be happier. One good thing is books.
-Frits' pov two months later-
She said something. Wilona actual said something to me. She only said thank you but that's a start right. Kids are still bullying her but I still stand up for her. She is my friend and I protected my friends. My other friends still hang out with me some, not a much because of Wilona. I don't get whats there problem because she is great. It is only because she is different. Different shouldn't be a bad thing. Hanging out with her has changed my prospective on things. She doesn't keep her hair in her face as much when it is just us two in the library. Her face is extremely expressive. He entire face shines when she is happy. It is amazing. When she spoke we were in the library. She was reaching for a book, but was to short. So I got it for her. That was when she said thank you, she even smiled. The book I got for her was large the spine said that it was The chronicles of Narnia. It apparently was all seven books in one.