The Police and The Yato

The Police

I'm just an ordinary police officer doing every day patrols on a daily basis. I know I'm the first division officer, but still I have to do this lame job that Hijibaka always give me. That's why I just hang out on the park to slack the day off. I look at the children playing happily by themselves thinking how it's blissful to be a kid without caring a thing about life at all. After a couple of hours, I go back to HQ and report about my patrol. To be honest, it's so much of a hassle when reporting to Hijibaka. "Oi, Sougo." he called. "What? You want to die?" I said looking at him with deadpanned eyes. "Good job on today's patrol." he said and then he walks away. The hell did he eat?, I thought. Suddenly an idea goes into mind. I'm thinking that if I were to do some sadistic pranks, I think that it'll beat some sense into him again.

The night falls and everybody's sleeping their asses off, and that includes the idiotic Vice-chief. I quietly go to his bedroom, avoiding necessary contacts that may suddenly wake him up. I lie down the futon and sleep beside him. I put on my mask and then... the prank starts.

Die Hijikata. Die Hijikata. Die... Die... Die... Die... DIE!

I rush suddenly to the dark side and sit there watching over him with my red glowing eyes. Hijikata wakes up with a horrific surprise on his face. "The f- was that about? For a second, I thought that bastard was beside me. Must've been a trivial nightmare I guess. Well- I'll go back to sleep." he said to himself. That idiot has no clue that I'm here at his room already, playing a prank on him. I do it once again and he wakes up. The idiot gets out his room and heads down the washroom. Good thing that I wrote something that will scare the pieces out of him. While he's at it, I go to my room so that he doesn't raise any suspicion of my presence in his room. My scheme worked. The next morning, Hijikata's eyes are like that of a panda's. Possibly, because he didn't slept a wink last night. Everybody's worried, and I "also". After the meeting, I go to him and talk. "Hijibaka, what you up to last night that your eyes became like that? Were you watching something really  unnecessary, or?" I asked. "Over my dead body. I never slept a wink, because of the hellish nightmare that had been going on last night. Can't even tell if it's real or not. I was thinking it might be you who started it to begin with." he said. "Eew, you came to tell me that you like me? That's not you at all." I jokingly answered. "Not that you bastard!" he exclaimed. "So what if it was me?" I confirmed. Hijikata fused by his anger, unsheathes his sword and starts chasing me all round, shouting my name. 

Kondo steps in to stop the petty fight and acts as a peacemaker. "You guys need to chill down for goodness sake." he said. "He started it!" I said, pointing at Hijikata. Hijikata piques at me and lets it go after. He then calls me to the meeting room to give me some missions. It seems that this will be another dangerous day for the first division, because it's real this time. Ah- this is what I call a deserving job. After doing a job well done, I go to my quarters to get rest. There, I see a bottle of mayonnaise. I pick it up and throw it outside the headquarters while shouting, "DIE HIJIBAKA!!!" on the other side of the room, Hijikata sneezes thinking that someone is cursing him in the middle of the day. This is practically my life in the Shinsengumi, doing lame patrols and real missions and especially hating Hijikata all day, everyday. This is Okita Sougo, first division class police officer of the Shinsengumi. I am the King of Sadists.