Warning, nothing here should ever be taken seriously. I have like a million requests for Kou so why not have fun with it? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I legit did this in like ten-twenty minutes or whatever
Kou Mukami x Reader Crack-Fic
Slinging your arm over Kou's broad shoulders, you swung yourself around to face him with a look he hadn't seen before. You looked completely out of it.
Despite that, you gave him a very serious look, mouth opening as your other hand grabbed the collar of his shirt. "Kou, you're going to die."
"What?" He replied, prying himself out of your firm grip, the young idol sneered with disgust. "You smell terrible. What the hell did you do?"
Speaking once again in a strange manner, almost desperately, you grabbed his shoulders, shaking Kou around enough to make his heterochromatic eyes swirl. "yOU'RE GONNA DIE HOMIE-" You suddenly let go of Kou, grabbing a bag of what looked and smelled to be a horrible mixture of Doritos completely soaked in Mountain Dew. "TAKE THIS BEFORE THE ILLUMINATI FIND YOU!"
Shrieking at your sudden crazed attitude, Kou pushed the bag back to you. "M-Neko-Chan what's gotten into you? Have you had too much catnip or something?!"
Your demeanor grew dark and strange, almost as if you were partaking in an occult and suddenly became creepy as fuck. "Hehehe... Better..."
Kou began to regret everything.
You danced around like a crack monkey, shouting incoherent words, and suddenly blowing air horns? He had no clue where you got them, but they were the least of his worries. The sheer amount of destruction in the household drove him to insanity, and Kou wished upon anything that he could, hoping that Ruki would come home soon to settle her down.
Once, even Kou, in his bad mood, found it amusing when you took off your shirt and began wrestling the pillow, screaming out "jOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN CEEEEEEEEEEENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-" and letting your phone blast out the same tune.
After about an hour of this reckless behavior, Kou had walked into your room, finding a small gift on the table. He opened it without warning, and suddenly felt as if he had the POWER.
Running downstairs in nothing but his boxers, Kou danced around as if he were a pretty ballerina, with you watching and applauding like a dying seal. As a way of commemorating his joining of the dewitos, you shook a large bottle of the liquid, opening it on Kou with a hyena's laugh.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang, along with the slamming of the grand door.
Ruki emerged from the outside and gazed up to see the house practicially in pieces. He smiled, walking right back out, unable to deal.
Kou and you shared a magnificent high-five, worthy of the great lord Shrek.
"420bLAZEITM8-"
forgive my sins
YOU ARE READING
тнσsε вℓσσ∂ү ηιgнтs (diabolik lovers x reader)
RomanceYour blood, body, and mind were like a poison driving them mad. They desired every inch of you, all for themselves. Complete and total dominance. And they won't take no for an answer. ||Diabolik Lovers x Reader Oneshots||
