Keeping a Strong Performance

Tears and Alcohol Don't Mix

So like, I had this here last minute idea and decided to put it up for you guys. It's not as detailed as I imagined it but I'm not that creative. If you have ideas of how to make this story better, I'm accepting ideas for the chapter after the next one.

Bertolt's POV

Work had become like normal and I hardly ever went home. Reiner is usually there until later in the evening or until I tell him I won't be there. It wasn't that I had a lot of work, it was more of the fact that I didn't want to go home to him. Not if I can't hug him and kiss him and hold him. Not if I can't love him and he love me.

Friday had finally come around and Reiner had said that he would be late coming over, which was fine with me. It gave me time to go to the store, get home, and lock the damn door. Sure I was glad I had someone that "cared" but it would be just fine with me if it you know, wasn't him. I don't trust him anymore, and I doubted I ever would.

I'd thought about trying to win him over but once I did, I realized that it wasn't really worth it. If he wanted me and he loved me, I shouldn't have to try for him to come back to me. I deserved someone that wouldn't even think about leaving in the first place. Now I knew people made mistakes, and I knew it was easy to do so but its not hard to know right from wrong. Especially if you had been taught how to decipher what was the right thing and what wasn't.

He was a grown ass man. At the ripe age of twenty-four he should be able to make his own decisions without being blind about what he was doing. I could care less about whether he "didn't know what was doing". He should've came to talk to me about his fears. If he'd cared, that's what he would've done, but I guess he didn't.

I sighed and cranked my car. I drove to a convenience store that had a liquor store next to it. I was only at the store to get some milk and bread, but when I was putting my items in my car, a sign caught my eye. It said they were having a sale on vintage wines and what can one bottle hurt? I went it and looked at my surroundings. It smelt like whiskey and peppermint. The guy at the counter asked if I was looking for anything in particular, and at first I was going to tell him that I was just looking.

Then I asked what he thought was good. Yeah maybe I bought a little too much, but it wasn't like I was going to drink it all anytime soon because I didn't drink that much. Sure I was twenty-two but I didn't think that gave me the right to drink my life away and party. I was more responsible than that. I put the bags of alcohol in my car and began the drive home. I was going to put the liquor away when I got home and save it for a rainy day when I just wanted to stay inside.

Simple as that.

(Switching to Reiner's POV)

It was a little late before I got to Bertolt's place. I'd had some things to take care of at my job that I acquired. The boss wasn't there so I had to clean up. I didn't think Bert would've been home so I just unlocked the door with the spare key he let me have. When I asked if he wanted it back he simply shrugged and said it didn't matter to him whether I kept it or gave it to a robber. He'd been spending too much time with Annie I was afraid.

I was honestly shocked at what I seen when I walked in. There were empty bottles of beer, vodka, whiskey, and countless other alcohols I didn't even know we're legal. There was a trail leading to the living room. I followed it and seen Bert leaned up against the couch with a bottle in his hand. His eyes were lifeless and he was just staring at the coffee table. He lifted the bottle to his mouth and took a drink, not even realizing how much he's drunk I assumed.

I didn't think he'd even seen me, so I found the bag that had more bottles in it and started to pick it up to throw it away. "Are you going to take that away too?" He asked in a sad tone, indicating that he'd been thinking about depressing subjects. I sighed and let the bag go. I sat next to him in the floor.

"This isn't healthy, Bert." I said and he scoffed. I sat there for a moment and so did he. He lifted the bottle again and I took it from him. "I think you've had enough, pal. If you drink to much you'll get sick." I said and got up to throw it away. I'd never seen Bertolt drunk so I didn't know what to expect from him. He grabbed my pant leg, stopping me from moving. He had tears streaming down his face.

"Reiner what did I do to make you stop loving me?" He asked and my eyes widened. "Reiner why aren't I good enough? Why can't you love me? Why does she get you? Am I not good enough? I can change, I really can if it means you'll come back to me. Reiner you mean the world to me and I have nothing to live for if you walk away from this. From everything I thought we had. I don't care if you see me as a fuck buddy just as long as I get to have you. I-I can't go o-on without y-you. It's so h-hard for me. I'm weak without you. You're the most perfect thing I've ever had, you make me complete." He was full on sobbing now and I couldn't bear to see him like this. I had to look away.

"I know I'm hard to put up with, but I said I can change. Can't you see what you've done? Can you really just leave me? I don't deserve you, I know I don't but I want you and need you so bad. Even if your love wasn't real, it felt so right. I want it so much. What happened to our promises? Were those not real either? Was your love real? Please tell me I didn't waste four years of my life believing that you loved me as much as I loved you?" He was sobbing into my pant leg and I felt so bad for what I'd done.

I bent down to him and wrapped my arms around him as he cried. "Of course my love was real. Bert I loved you, I did more than the world. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. Don't ever think that I didn't love you, please don't ever think that." I spoke softly to him as his body shook with his sobs. He seemed to shake even harder with my words and I didn't know how long I would be able to hold him without breaking down myself. His grip on the fabric of my shirt was deadly and I knew he needed me right now.

"If you l-loved me m-more t-than a-anything, and I-I was t-the b-best thing that ever happened to y-you, then why aren't I g-good enough now?" He choked out and I was taken aback by how open he was right now. I didn't know how to answer, so I just held him closer as he cried. I didn't know how long it would go on, but I'd hold him as long as he still needed and wanted me too.

Right then, Bertolt was winning that damn tug of war my heart had going. He was pulling my heart stings harder than he ever had.