I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (CaptainSwan) ON HOLD

5~ Need & Promises

Emma's POV
(Unedited)

I'd put on the best façade I could for Henry. I smiled, I laughed, I kissed Graham under the mistletoe. But all that I could think of was him. It came back to that every Christmas, always the same. I'd spend the whole year forgetting, moving on but when the lights went up and the gifts were wrapped, his eyes shimmered in my mind again like two bright blue gems. It was all stupid really. I was a 28 year old woman and I felt like I had some kind of crush... or more. No. I couldn't be in- well... the forbidden "L" word with a subhuman man who I'd only met twice and hadn't seen for the last three years. All of it was just ridiculous. Emma Swan didn't get infatuated with anyone. At Least not that easily. Graham was great. He was kind and loving, got along with Henry and,well, it wasn't any secret that he was easy on the eyes. But he isn't him. That rebellious and ever so annoying voice screamed in the corner of my mind. The other more reasonable one kicked back in defense quickly with its soft whisper in the other corner, He hasn't even been seen for the last three Christmases. Graham is there, Graham is reliable. This continued for a long while. The back and forth battle of my inner consciences like an angel and a devil sitting on my shoulders, trying desperately to coax me in two different directions. But in the end it all came back around to the same thing. The angel got quiet and the devil took over, screaming louder than ever in my head the one thing I was trying not to think. You want him. You want him. You want him. "I need him." Graham and Henry's heads both swiveled towards me at my strange and random confession, eyebrows cocked in confusion. "You need... who?" Graham asked, insinuating the 'who'. "Um," I froze, unable to concoct the right words to explain what I was talking about without sounding crazy. "Did I say who? What I meant was I need it." They both still stared at me with questioning eyes. "And what exactly is 'it'?" A smile curled onto my lips at Henry's question and I answered him with a pointed finger towards a Christmas tree. "That," I said confidently, "I need that." Both laughed giddily at my revelation and, with a ruffle of Henry's hair, Graham walked up and grabbed the beautiful evergreen tree. "Well look who finally picked a tree," He teased, "We've only been here for an hour and a half waiting for you to."
***
We brought it home and decorated it from top to bottom. Putting up homemade ornaments from Henry and reminiscing as we remembered how young he was when he made them. When the last orb was hung Graham kissed us both on the head and bid us goodbye, despite Henry's best efforts to get him to stay the night. He shook his head, mumbling, "Can't. I've got to visit family tomorrow." And disappeared out the door. Me and Henry stayed up a bit after that. We'd put on an old cartoon Rudolph the red nosed reindeer and sipped at our hot coco until the clock read 11:30 and I decided it was time for him to go to sleep. He complained but went anyway and I was left alone in the dark room, staring at the tree in all its glowing glory. My mind pounded with conflicting thoughts as I sat there. Just ask. One voice would say but the other wouldn't stay silent for long before whispering, Don't you'll regret it. You can, you can't, you should, you shouldn't you- "Stop!" I half screamed half whispered as I fell to the floor in defeat. "Just... stop." Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes and before long they were streaming down my face and onto the rug beneath me. How did I get to this point? How did I get so overwhelmingly interested, no, obsessed with the way it felt to be with someone. What kind of power did he wield that I could so easily become sick with desire for him when we'd only met twice. I pondered all these questions as I laid there, soaked in tears and cradled in my own arms. "Killian," I whispered into the emptiness, squeezing my eyes shut, "Please come back." The moment following held nothing but silence. A dead, cold pause that served as a perfect reminder of just how over this all was. I let out a sigh. Maybe it just wasn't meant to- "Emma." My head shot up at the sound of my name and our eyes instantly met, emeralds and oceans colliding with a force, each growing darker and darker as the seconds passed by. "Couldn't stay away any longer?" He said with a smirk as he leaned down to meet my gaze. "Oh, shut up." I scoffed back, "You're gonna ruin the moment." A spark of interest lit up his face, "Is there a moment to ruin?" "There will be if we make one." I pulled him into my lips quickly. It had been long enough. I needed this. "Mmm," he breathed out once we'd pulled apart. "I've missed the taste of you my perfect Swan." A curiosity spread through me at his words and I had to know, had he been thinking of me like I had him? "You didn't forget about me, then?" "Of course not," He said firmly, faking hurt, "How little do you think of me, Lady Swan, that you believe I could so easily forget a woman such as yourself." My eyebrow raised involuntarily at his little speech as I took in the ridiculous theatrics of it all. "Please. I bet you find a new woman to woo every Christmas Eve." I waited a long while in the midst of the following silence, hoping with all my soul that he would answer no. Because, despite my attempts at denying it, all I really wanted was hear that I was the one he couldn't get off his mind. "Emma, darling," He finally spoke, "You're the only woman who's ever held the power to haunt my mind every second of every day. Even if I wanted to think of someone else there'd be no room." The smile that spread across my face was inevitable at this point no matter how hard I tried to stop it from happening. "I've missed you," I finally let myself admit in spite of my stubbornness. He smiled in a way I'd never seem him smile before. It was gentle and soft, holding a promise in it that I couldn't quite put a pin on. "Emma, I-" The clock on the wall dinged loudly, cutting him off and informing us and probably everyone else in the neighborhood that it was 12:00 o'clock. "What the h:::," I cursed. It wasn't supposed to do that and, up until this point, never had. "It's Christmas, love." Killian whispered and got up swiftly, "That means it's time for me to go." "What, why? You just got here." He gave me a soothing look and pecked me gently before heading towards the fire place. "I'm sorry, Swan. I'll be back next year." Before I had the chance to protest, he was gone and I was, once again, left sitting alone. "You better keep that promise."
***
Writer's note:
Be prepared for a big time jump next chapter
and a lot of revelations. I, unfortunately, won't
be able to finish this before Christmas is over
like I planned but I hope you guys will stick
with it after the holidays are out. Next chapter
super soon! Xx